Babe Patrol

Jeeez, they let us make 10 of these?? For our illustrious 10th episode we recorded **After Dark**, and Ashley was over-caffeinated, so consider listening at .5 speed. We gossip about a backwoods doomsday prepper & DNA surprises. Ashley simply passes out over a smokeshow of a profile that Lauren found on OKCupid, and we discuss dating out of your attractiveness range and whether that is real? We also break down our OWN red and green flags and discover that we are, in fact, undateable (jk, we're adorable and here for all of our own strange magic). Tangents involve unfriending on social media, random muscle groups, conspiracy theories, how our entire bodies feel like a tit, and color theory. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.  

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

What's your New Year's *iNtEnTiOn,* busybodies? Ashley & Lauren discuss theirs while potentially editing all of the intentions down to: ORGASMS 2023. Small gossips include a car/bridge/laundromat episode & a surprising fact about Celine Dion. We roast a few men who were rude online, including a man Ashley describes as a "potato carving of Quasimodo" after admitting she sort of looks like him. Ashley gets scammed into paying real money for a handdrawn picture of her soulmate by a psychic on Etsy, and Lauren names him Arnold the Anxious Arborist. Tangents include a critical new Babe Patrol term: DOLL EYES, trolling, Maya Angelou, and double standards, as well as the famed questionnaire that makes you fall in love. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Helloooooo and welcome to another episode of Tangent Patrol! Ashley shares a piece of deeply relatable gossip from a busybody about social terror in a local small business, Lauren shares a "tragic" pie plate story, and then we bring in our first guest!! Steph George, our fearless producer, hops on the mic to join us in a discussion of her own history of gossip, and to break down a couple of solid gold profiles including a cryptid looking for love in the swamp of life (spoiler alert: it's not Shrek). Tangents are on fire this episode, spanning everything from how to swear as a child, "debrief gossip," Ashley tries and repeatedly fails to understand electric buses, and wtf is Zoosk?? Additionally, we're sorry, but cannibalism comes up.....again.....and no member of the Babe Patrol Control Room is edible, fyi. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

Today, busybodies, Ashley tells another gruesome story, while Lauren tells a charming local one about Santa. We delve into a wild Craigslist lobersterman personal ad who describes to us "where my safe place is" (yikes) and a kitchen surprise. Notable tangents include: our upcoming FUNDRAISING RACE: The Stoner to Boner 3K!!! Start training!!; the charm of a good highway information booth, Glad Brad's Saxophone Adventure, Ashley's friendly bumper stickers, and tinned fish. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

The church bell chimed 'til it rang twenty-nine times / for each man on the Edmund Fitzgeraaaaald!!! A little Piscataqua River historical gossip comes to you today, fresh off the old Middle Bridge, as well as a juicy morsel from one of Lauren's coworkers. We talk about DM slippage, sh!tting your pants on a date, the panty-dissolving quality of good conversation, and the perks of "Magazine Zero." Tangents abound, including The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, German U-Boats, and Leaving Las Vegas. We updated our Spotify playlist with The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, listen here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/617gcWmJ93dZLyHNhYcYym?si=f0e2693ec04d4fff As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.  Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

Grab your dELia*s cardigans, busybodies, because Ashley brings Lauren back to high school (shudder) with some vintage Presidential gossip from the early days of the Internet, & Lauren finds us a 2-for-1 special for the booklover of your dreams. Notable tangents include REALity and filters, our love for Gen Z, Barnacle Billy's rum punches, The (beloved) Black Bean (RIP), vagina dentata, & more. We also get DEEP into a discussion of coded language on dating profiles & some of our thoughts on desirability. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. 

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

An integral part of being a busybody is the willingness to eavesdrop, and this week we fight children and the cacophonous sea to overhear some beach gossip & recreate it in a Choose Your Own Adventure style. Lauren introduces some Reddit tales that shock the senses, and we discuss chain restaurants, Rae Dunn, the greatest tattoo in the history of the world, finding the Pam to one's Jim, and Sketch Doms. Tangents abound, as usual, and we probably owe an apology to Hampshire College grads... Live, Laugh, Love, busybodies! As always: visual aids, supporting documents, and Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your low-stakes local gossip or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram and TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

This week, busybodies, we clop over to a dude's house and interrupt him while he's laying sod in order to get the beef in the neighb. And we discuss some gossip on the town Facebook page that was shared by the ice cream parlor. We talk about gossip as a political tool, Lauren's liberal use of exclamation points to fool the patriarchy, the hotness of John Goodman, friendships between men, and finally, the eternal question: would we swipe the good way on Guy Fieri or Anthony Bourdain? Spoiler alert--Ashley likes both of them even while choosing chefs as her red flag this week. Unbelievable! As always: visual aids, supporting documents, and Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your low-stakes local gossip or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram and TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. 

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com Link to our Spotify playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/617gcWmJ93dZLyHNhYcYym?si=d427f05f783b4853

Abortion resources: www.nnaf.org www.ineedana.com www.abortionfinder.org www.mayday.health www.reprolegalhelpline.org www.reprolegaldefensefund.org 

How many dead bodies have you kissed, anyway? In this week's episode, we share some Irish Catholic funeral goss, and take you on an aural "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride" of tantalizing tangents: social mores around kissing a dead body (or as producer, Steph, lovingly refers to it: "the final kiss"), Hare Krishna chanting, Ashley's first vibrator, Twin Peaks, Babe Patrol's Official Cookie, and the perils of Jack Kerouac...to name a few. As always: visual aids, supporting documents, and Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your low-stakes local gossip or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram and TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com Link to our Spotify playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/617gcWmJ93dZLyHNhYcYym?si=a30f1b0853aa4c9e

Welcome to Babe Patrol--a podcast about...well, you'll see. For our fledgling episode, we’re bringing you into our world, but mostly stumbling around as we do it.  We have gossip about a secret relationship at work, a CELEBRITY in Portsmouth, and multiple dating profiles we gently dissect. Notable tangents include VH1’s The Pickup Artist, the Free-Stater Movement in NH, Chris Maloni? Maroni? Meloni?, and the best way to transport an organ when you’re on a date. Visual aids, supporting documents, and Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your low-stakes local gossip or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram and TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com