Babe Patrol

Honestly, can you think of anything dumber than paddleboarding down the middle of the Piscataqua River? With those currents?? This week the Babes consider the personalities of aliens, rather than just focusing on their bodies, for goodness sake. They gossip about the tree pollution that has united Camden, ME, and Portland's new restaurant gossip Instagram account: @spudleaks207. They share a busybody's summer fling story off the Lips Phone that involved a Dead Head named Jed, and Blisskel & Lebert discuss another summer flick: 1995's Now & Then! This week they Ice Cream Dated Guy Capecelatro III, and Ash saw a waffle cone eaten for the first time. The three of them gab about the history of The Friendly Toast, Guy's wonderful podcast Burst & Bloom, & Kittery's famous Hand Jobbery, The Danish Health Club (Ash would like to clarify--she supports all sex workers, not sex traffickers, in case that was NOT clear). Let us know what you've eaten in the tub by calling or texting the Lips Phone at 207-544-9108, email us at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

Sorry we made you wait, busybodies, but here we are!!

This week: a Wheel of Fortune whoopsie-daisy. A brain worm. A Lady Gaga ice cream visit. A sinkhole. Bear & bobcats. An orca. A flamingo. A hummus cannon. 1993's Dazed & Confused. AND a giant ice cream hang sesh with two yentas for life: Peter Squires & Seth Gooby!! We discuss Gooby lore, Friendly's, soulmates, and Seth & Peter's forthcoming business: Ipswich Chipwich. Air raid, freshmen!!!

Tell us your summer fling stories by calling or texting the Lips Phone at 207-544-9108

Email us at [email protected]

Follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod

Support us on Patreon

Production by Steph George

HELLO WE MISSED YOU. The Babes have returned, and so have you! This season opens its hot little hands to summer with aplomb--lots of gossip, summer flings, summer movies, and ice cream.

In today's episode, they discuss the summer joys of The Lost Boys (1987)--the scintillating summer vampire flick you know and love. Also, they gossip about Boston's famed Storrow Drive, a new cryptid, and shoot through an ice cream fueled Top Several. AND they discuss their own summer flings. They'll be collecting summer fling stories all season long, so be sure to send any stories in to the Lips Phone, email, or the DMs!

Tell us your summer fling stories by calling or texting the Lips Phone at 207-544-9108, email us at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon.

Production by Steph George

It's summer, and you know what that means. Time to wear white pants, eat ice cream, yearn after a summer fling, and listen to the sweet sounds of gossip on Babe Patrol Season Three.

Total eclipse of the BABES. It's the season two finale....finallllllyyyy. It's super late, but somehow, right on time. Did you see the eclipse, busybodies? Lauren & Ash both had bald eagle moments on the day of the eclipse, and Lauren was in the path of totalityyyyyy!

For the finale, the Babes have a couple of gossips involving a voicemail left on the Lips Phone, a local business abruptly closing (and disabling comments), and a rumor involving the local Dairy Queen. They do an experiment involving four AI generated boyfriends, and end up choosing the same computer-generated boyfriend. They'll have to share the pixelated stud-muffin. And they do TWO Top Severals this week--Top Several Conspiracy Theories & Top Several Hear-Me-Outs. They pre-apologize again for having crushes on Dwight Schrute, two Handsome Rabbits, Jack Skellington, and Thing from the Addams Family, among other horrors!

See you next next season, busybodies!

Keep calling the Lips Phone!!! xoxoxoxo Tell us YOUR hear-me-outs, small gossips, or dating woes by calling or texting the Lips Phone at 207-544-9108

Email us at [email protected]

Follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod

Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Production by Steph George www.stephaniageorge.com

Today the Babes, joined by the glorious Steph, gossip about York's Wild Kingdom (dubbed by a Redditor as "The Joe Exotic of the North"), a Berwick GHOST BUS, and Steph brings the Babes a morsel of one of their fave sub-genres: NEIGHBOR gossip.

Some Bumble profiles take everyone on a downward spiral, prompting the question, "dudes, are you ok?" And Lauren brings a lovely random question to Ash that triggers another spiral.

The Top Several this week is absolutely beyond the pale...Top Several Sexual Awakenings. And it's a LOT. Please enjoy all of the discussion of Jareth the Goblin King's silver bundle. And they cannot stop f*cking talking about McDonald's. SO SORRY. Oh! Also! Ash says that the My So-Called Life clip includes The Cranberries, but she wants you to know it was actually Buffalo Tom and she is a dingdong for misremembering.

Tell us your sexual awakenings, small gossips, or dating woes by calling or texting the Lips Phone at 207-544-9108

Email us at [email protected]

Follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod

Subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod

Production by Steph George

The Babefluencers are booked and busy, busybodies. Lauren bought a house in Kittery!! And Ash mostly just wants to lay down and sleep for a week straight. Lauren shares some gossip about a boat that ran aground in one of the recent storms, and the mateys who are suddenly nowhere to be found! Ash tells a couple of shorties from busybodies including a story about a bank robber in Portland (just let him keep it!!!). Do you also have a false memory of the robber emoji existing?? Because apparently this is a well-researched Mandela Effect. Please text the Lips Phone about this critical information. Ash finally fired Bumble back up for no more than ten minutes, and found two very interesting profiles at once, leading her to ask...how big a Photoshopped ear is too big? The Top Several this week includes an embedded Just the Tip, an old Babe Patrol segment from last season, and the Babes consider what foods are safest to eat on a date that may end in sex! They both say NO to eating acidic foods and then rolling in the hay, as they say.

Tell us your safe foods, small gossips, or dating woes by calling or texting the Lips Phone at 207-544-9108,

Email us at [email protected]

Follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod

Subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

Lauren is a Master Food Preserver. And she says the McDonald's pickle is a perfect pickle, and everyone is in awe about it, honestly. Today, Lauren's long-time bud (and Ash's new bud), Monica Cohen, visits to talk about relationship cycles, falling in love, and receiving sweetness. Monica is a musician and a Mom and a darling and kind of a Babe Patrol big sister. And an Aries? Which is kind of weird? She tells a story about getting a DM from the current gf of a Bad Ex-Boyfriend--has that ever happened to you? The Babes & Monica do a powerful Top Several this week--what music, if a potential partner puts it on a mix for you or tells you that they like--really turns your head? In other words, what band or musician would really shock you (in a good and hot way) that a potential partner is into? Many answers emerge. No emergency shits in this episode, busybodies, so the weak of heart can relax about this...for now. Teehee! Stay tuned to the end of this episode to listen to a new track by Monica, produced by Jeff Lipstein, called "Love & Serpents." Tell us the bands that would turn your head, small gossips, or dating woes by calling or texting the Lips Phone at 207-544-9108, email us at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

What day of the week is October? And have you ever tasted color? And does the calendar LOOK like anything when you imagine it? And if someone tells you to imagine an apple, do you see it? The Babes gab about synesthesia a bit on today's episode, and determine, pretty immediately, that October is Thursday. Lauren gossips about Willem Dafoe & Ash brings us a busybody-supplied story about names & identity. PLUS, in another Babe Patrol FIRST, Ash does a hard-hitting one-on-one interview with a busybody using a fake name to tell us all a truly hair-raising story that takes place in a storage closet filled with skis. And the newest segment, The Babe Patrol Top Several, centers on favorite ROM-COMs this week! Tell us your favorite rom-com, which day of the week October is, or your favorite synethesic event, small gossips, or dating woes by calling or texting the Lips Phone at 207-544-9108, email us at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

Raise your hand if you know an armchair philosopher who word-clouds you with "deep" thoughts! We've all known one. Lauren found a couple on the apps recently, and results vary. This ep marks the Babes' first attempt at a distance recording, and it was a worthwhile experiment! Ash shares a gossip about Southern suburbia and a powerful HOA. And Lauren brings us back to the South Berwick Facebook page and the Strafford County Scanner Alerts page for a little online drama. Don't we all think Lauren should be the Comms Director for the Town of South Berwick?? There's a little bit of fun on the apps in this episode, and they do a Round Robin segment about Red Flag names for men. PLEASE, if you are named Todd, do not hate us!!!! You're likely great!! We just are a little nervous about you!! Tell us any names that scare you, small gossips, or dating woes by calling or texting the Lips Phone at 207-544-9108, email us at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com