Welcome to the first episode of 2022! Let's start off by explaining the title.... basically, Lauren is newly single & she's back on her shit, therefore she's heavily considering selling those items for money (in the most non sexual way possible, of course). This all came up because we found out we had been used by a listener for their own embarrassment fetish and sexual gratification. Nice! We'll explain, just listen and crack up with us. Anyway, this week, we go through Lauren's first week back on dating apps and she tells us what's new since the last time she was on it. We also get into profile bios and get wild with a little segment we like to call "Profile Poetry." Have you ever seen a dating app bio that just made you roll your eyes? We took those and made them into poems for your enjoyment. Again, don't ask questions, just listen. We then get into a listener question about texting: is texting chemistry a thing? Should you base your outlook on how the rest of the relationship will go based on the first few weeks of texts? What are some red flags to look for when texting with a new person? We also got a guy's perspective on this, so you don't wanna miss it!