Do you like boats? Of course you like boats. Do you like George Washington? Or course you like George Washington. Do you like West Virginia? Oh no we've lost you.

This is the story of Harpers Ferry. Come for the ghosts, stay for the soupciest soupçon, I'm not an idiot, the Florida gooch, cursive is so in these days, make us sound so smart Jeremy, sluices of the 18th century, sacre bleu; screw you, the first casualty of cholera is always the parade, and the worst possible Disney World ride.

Sources:

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harpers_Ferry,_West_Virginia
• https://www.wvgazettemail.com/flipside/flipside_news/beware-of-phantom-army-at-harpers-ferry-flipside/article_a7da284d-3b2b-5ee0-bf18-6d0ba733ae83.html
• https://www.onlyinyourstate.com/experiences/west-virginia/harpers-ferry-ghosts-wv
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B_%26_O_Railroad_Potomac_River_Crossing
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Brown%27s_raid_on_Harpers_Ferry