To be clear, this is not the story of the Punisher.

This is the story of Franklin Castle. Come for the ghosts, stay for a blue line freak out, a tough time for Hanses. Germans love a purebred, everyone's in the consumption business, the good diabetes, spiraling into the stairwell, balance your witches, and evil Dairy Queen.

Sources:

• Haunted Franklin Castle by William G. Krejci and John W. Myers
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hannes_Tiedemann
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franklin_Castle

Anytime you can use a gator as a landmark, you know you've made some poor life decisions. And that those decisions involve Florida.

This is the story of the Ma Barker House. Come for the ghosts, stay for horse magic, Trope-a-Dope 2, tentacles like to make themselves known, C. Roy die in the street, the Ohio of the western side of Chicago, the most Florida thing ever, and Howdy Doody porn.

Sources:

• https://mabarkerhouse.org/
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ma_Barker
• https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/68081615/edward_george-bremer
• https://www.gatorjoesocala.com/about/
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florida_cracker_architecture
• https://www.ocala.com/story/news/local/2019/02/24/ocala-paranormal-group-investigates-ma-barker-house/5849048007/

It's time for a brand new segment: Trope-a-Dope! It's a fun way to see if Patrick's been paying attention to the many tropes we've uncovered over the last 170 episodes. The answer...may surprise you. (But it probably won't.)

This is the story of the Rolling Hills Asylum. Come for the ghosts, stay for the secret about peyote, Boy Meets Afterworld, the poors love animals too, a Wile E. Coyote fence, that's where veal comes from, tuberculosis is on the ballot, and I'm here for the grotesque.

Sources:

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genesee_County,_New_York
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_Bethany,_New_York
• https://www.hauntedrooms.com/new-york/upstate-haunted-places
• https://www.rollinghillsasylum.com/about-rha/history
• https://nyghosts.com/rolling-hills-asylum/

Do you like boats? Of course you like boats. Do you like George Washington? Or course you like George Washington. Do you like West Virginia? Oh no we've lost you.

This is the story of Harpers Ferry. Come for the ghosts, stay for the soupciest soupçon, I'm not an idiot, the Florida gooch, cursive is so in these days, make us sound so smart Jeremy, sluices of the 18th century, sacre bleu; screw you, the first casualty of cholera is always the parade, and the worst possible Disney World ride.

Sources:

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harpers_Ferry,_West_Virginia
• https://www.wvgazettemail.com/flipside/flipside_news/beware-of-phantom-army-at-harpers-ferry-flipside/article_a7da284d-3b2b-5ee0-bf18-6d0ba733ae83.html
• https://www.onlyinyourstate.com/experiences/west-virginia/harpers-ferry-ghosts-wv
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B_%26_O_Railroad_Potomac_River_Crossing
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Brown%27s_raid_on_Harpers_Ferry

If there's one thing Patrick loves, it's ship episodes. Looooooves ship episodes. Looooooooooooooooooves ship episodes!

This is the story of Stede Bonnet and his Pirate Crew. Come for the ghosts, stay for oo much horse, margarita girlies, ocean doesn't have to be lonely, gotta stop licking the boat, this is basically how Moby Dick opens, I'm sticky, and just go to therapy.

Sources:

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stede_Bonnet
• https://www.barbadoscarolinas.org/stede-bonnet-gentleman-pirate
• https://majorstedebonnet.com/Revenge.html
• https://www.hauntedrooms.com/south-carolina/haunted-places
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Point_Garden
• https://www.sandlappertours.com/haunted-white-point-gardens/

This one's basically a ghost story. Okay?

This is the story of Robert Schumann. Come for the ghost, stay for this is how brain worms happen, the Zapruder film of my phone, if Don Music can do it..., I was hoping there'd be electro therapy, oh my god the stamina, way behind on my tertiary syphilis, no Ouija boards in Germany, and why would Ernie give Bert dead frogs?

Heads up, Revolutionary War dorks! We're heading to the state that makes Patrick angriest to tell the tale of some nerd with a limp. LFG.

This is the story of the Nathanel Greene Homestead. Come for the ghost, stay for we do not tell the Dobby story, I'm getting a tattoo of it, Voltaire Jr. and Lady Voltaire, gotta be chlamydia, we need an equipment manager, getting mail is so fun, they were discovering all the diseases, and the old gerbil routine.

Sources:

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nathanael_Greene
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_Nathanael_Greene_Homestead
• https://www.onlyinyourstate.com/experiences/rhode-island/haunted-and-historic-place-ri

Listen, we're going to get to the ghost, but have you heard this story about cell phones?

This is the story of Blackbird Hill. Come for the ghost, stay for we should cherish our elderly, a French accent that just gets better, he found such fortune, I fell in love with a volleyball, infidelity for dinner, and men be stabbin',

Sources:

• https://lewis-clark.org/people/blackbird/
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blackbird_(Omaha_leader)
• https://www.legendsofamerica.com/ne-blackbirdhill/

Listen, friends. Sometimes life finds a way. And sometimes life gets away. And when life gets away, that's when ChatGPT has your back to pick up the slack.

Buckle up, this one's different.

This is the story of Nell Cropsey. Come for the ghost, stay for everyone's into something, a podcast about innovation, the Savannah of the North, the John Henry cautionary tale, the first Jedi mind trick, and you were always swimming in that dress.

Sources: ChatGPT

Welcome to Season 2! This season is going to be stranger, sexier, and way more innovative. Don't be surprised if Patrick starts showing up to the tapings nude. It's just the kind of thing we need to juice the ratings and avoid a sophomore slump.

This is the story of the Hellfire Caves. Come for the ghosts, stay for Old Yeller 2: Lost in the Jungle, the monkey-damaged child, dual audience surrogates, St. Francis and the hoes, they'd have spit their biscuits, ADD THE WHATSAPP LINK, the biggest goblet my little fingers could hold, coolest hell possible, and do me to oblivion or whatever.

Are you in the UK? Join the wholly unsanctioned WhatsApp group if you want.