I got myself caught up on blind items, a few People magazines & Demi Moore’s autobiography so get ready for a gossip-filled Patreon this week! 

This week’s Married at First Sight (3:48) has me all kinds of #triggered because #fitspo #influencer Zach, his #Coachella hat & his smug ass face really made me crabby. Speaking of crabby, how about you clean up your beach, Westin Panama?!

Don’t you dare ask Cheryl or her kid to clean anything up because she will lose it. Not her bonus tooth, just her shit. Love After Lockup (27:15) better provide therapy for the kids on this show because it was a rough week for the next generation. I think Shane may be even stealing backpacks from Lacey’s kids. Have you seen 21 year olds sport a Bubble Guppies backpack before? I told you so!

Over on 60 Days In (44:10), the bitch is back! Jennifer needs a bra, but Ms. Williams needs an exorcism ASAP. Don’t you wonder what her name is? Yeah, I was too, so I did what I was born to do. I dove in the deep Google ;) 

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