I missed you last week, but I am back like Chili’s baby back ribs (barbecue sauce). My Easter was epic, especially for the neighborhood of folks who experienced an earthquake when I wiped out in front of them. I’ll share with you the glorious details, and then a full rundown of 90 Day Fiancé Before the 90 Days (8:50). A thunderstorm nearly fries the egg in Ed’s hair while a mime in the Ukraine leaves me no choice but to lead a Mime #MeToo Movement.

Jessica has never been more on-brand than traveling with her crockpot on Married at First Sight (33:00). Perhaps Katie can carry Derek’s heart and soul in there after she steps on them and crushed his ego as a garnish. Then we’re off to Flagstaff for the season finale of Sister Wives (43:35). Realtor J. Christ hasn’t gotten back to Robyn about a rental, but who cares because this week is all about Maddie’s cervical mucus! Membranes and mortgages go together like Meri and Lularoe, ya know? SUBSCRIBE, SHARE & LEAVE A 5-STAR REVIEW!

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