November 19, 2025

183. Passive Aggression's Hidden Cost: How It Erodes Trust & Blocks Intimacy. Passive Aggression Part 2

20 minutes

Passive aggression quietly unravels trust and closeness by hiding real emotions behind polite words.

Alejandra Siroka looks at how passive aggression shapes the emotional tone of a relationship long before anyone names the tension out loud. She explains how mismatched messages create doubt that settles into the space between people, especially when humor, silence, or polite phrases carry a hint of frustration, anger or disappointment beneath the surface. That subtle mismatch can make it hard to feel understood, even when both people care deeply about the relationship.

Instead of assuming hostility, Alejandra invites listeners to explore what those moments reveal. What if the sting you feel signals a deeper discomfort that has been pushed aside? What comes into view when you trust the signals your body picks up before your mind rationalizes them away? Alejandra offers five tools that help listeners uncover these patterns and engage with them more consciously. Things to avoid are quick blame, defensiveness, or the urge to downplay what feels off. Try to be aware of jokes that carry tension, agreements that feel forced, or silence that feels heavy. Consider how clarity, honesty, and compassion can guide the way you express what matters most.

This episode encourages a deeper understanding of passive aggression as a learned response that can shift with intention, presence, and value-based communication.

Quotes

"When you can't trust that someone means what they say, the foundation of the relationship begins to crumble. You start second guessing every interaction, looking for hidden meanings and ulterior motives, even when there are nothing but good intentions and zero hidden agendas." (04:05 | Alejandra Siroka)

"Real connection requires authenticity." (05:08 | Alejandra Siroka)

"This kind of passive aggression is a form of gaslighting." (10:25 | Alejandra Siroka)

"Trust your body's wisdom. Your body knows when something is off, even when your mind tries to rationalize it. If you feel that sting, that tightness in your stomach, that confusion after an interaction, pay attention to it. Don't dismiss it." (12:12 | Alejandra Siroka)

“Passive aggression operates beneath the surface. And if we don't work to transform this negative form of communication, it can gradually create a series of tears in the relationship that eventually can reduce relationships to threads." (11:29 | Alejandra Siroka)

Links

To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366

To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706

To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme

To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/mailinglist

To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion

To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone

To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples

To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient

To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy

Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

...more

View all episodes

By Alejandra Siroka

3131 ratings