When couples and family therapy is successful, many therapists often don't know what turned the tide. The answer is simple. The couple / family felt the therapist joined and accepted them. By 'entering' into the family, the therapist changes the dynamic of the whole system, which thereby allows individuals to spontaneously change without being convinced, instructed, or rewarded. Within this process the therapist becomes a trusted orchestra leader. In our video today the husband learns he doesn't have to take every complaint by his wife 'personally'. This allows him to be less defensive - allowing the relationship to be more calm.