For the most part therapists view the process of change as occurring in a linear step-by-step manner. We envision change as happening when we help the client ‘put one foot in front of the other’ until he finally reaches his stated goal. And from within a logical framework, this seems to make a lot of sense.

However, in following this line of thinking, the obvious conclusion is that therapy is inevitably a long process that will likely take months or even years. And of course, for him to be successful, he must understand that he will have to put in a lot of time and effort to reach his goal.

The problem with this view is that the therapist assumes that the client is ‘trapped’ by his physical reality and history. From this finite reality it would seem that he can only ‘escape’ by taking limited and small steps forward.

However the ‘true reality’ of man’s existence, is that he has unlimited and ‘infinite potential’. When the therapist is able to help the client access this innate unlimited potential, the client’s natural tendency is to take ‘quantum leaps’ forward in his growth and recovery. This means that it is possible for the therapist to work on ‘secondary problems’ that are seemingly unrelated to the primary issue, but have an impact on the primary issue. For example, if we help the angry client improve self-esteem, his primary issue of anger will automatically diminish.

This podcast will explore the nature and conditions that perpetuate ‘horse & buggy’ type therapies, and how a slight change in the therapist’s perspective can influence the client to spontaneously take exponential or quantum leaps forward toward positive change. 

Of all the years, I’ve been doing therapy I have not once ever heard anyone say a bad word about Motivational Interviewing! Call me cynical… but if you can’t find at least one thing wrong with a therapy modality, - then that’s a major ‘red flag’!

Fortunately, this podcast will finally bring MI back to Earth and put it in its rightful place. Sure there’s a lot that is ‘right’ with MI, but often it is those very things that end up bogging down the process. On the positive side – it’s accepting with no power struggles; logical; and direction oriented. But on the negative side – it can be too accepting without challenging the client; logical enough for the client to see through it; and the therapist can easily get caught in his own direction and agenda. For the most part MI considers therapy to be a long term process in that we have to be patient until the client finally ‘comes around’.

But a big problem is that sometimes we can’t wait forever until the client finally wakes up and ‘comes around’.

This is a follow-up to last week’s podcast (61) Bullying: For or Against?

In this week’s episode we will analyze and review a successful 3 session paradoxical intervention conducted by Dr. Kaplan with a group of teenage boys who were involved in escalating sexualized behavior, living in a residential treatment facility.

Of the 11 residents in the cottage, 4 - 5 boys had banded together, and had started to sexually target and bully younger and smaller residents in the unit. Although the staff had advised the boys that such behavior was inappropriate and needed to stop, aggressive sexualized behavior continued to escalate. When the staff contacted Dr. Kaplan, who then working at the facility as a PSB (Problem Sexual Behavior) psychologist, they informed him that the boy’s ‘sexual play’ was rapidly becoming an internal threat to the residence unit’s safety.

With the permission of the Director of Psychology, Dr. Kaplan was able to video the intervention.

After the 3 group sessions, the intervention was completed. At that time the staff reported that sexual play and acting-out had reduced to the point that it was no longer an internal threat to safety within the unit. Even 4 months following the intervention, staff continued to report that sexualized behavior was no longer considered a danger within the residential unit.

In this video, we will analyze the key aspects of the paradoxical approach and how it contributed to treatment success.

Bullying ain’t what it used to be!

In the old days the bully used to be one of the big kids in class.

He could intimidate and push other kids around, and nobody messed with him.

During recess he could target the smaller kids, who were no match for him, and could easily take away their lunch boxes. 

Of course he had a sad life.

Everyone knew he was alone and forgotten because his parents were getting divorced and always fighting.

So really he had good reason to be angry and take it out on other kids.

                      In the old days, the principal would call the parents up and there would be a big emergency meeting in his office. At that point the principal would tell the parents to figure out how to control their kid. So the parents would yell, and hopefully the kid would get the message and straighten out. 

But bullying is different in today’s world. All the kids are screwed.

Cell phones keep everyone isolated and separate because kids interact with glass screens all day.

                       And a lot of kids are angry and they don’t know why.

But it’s easy to bully other kids by sending a text message dart making fun of someone’s hair or shoes.

Only no one gets to see the kid’s reaction when the dart lands, so you might as well send another one, just for the fun of it…

This podcast will offer counter-intuitive solutions that you will either love or hate – but would never have thought of in a million years….  

Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) was developed in the 1980s by psychologist Steven C. Hayes. His ideas emerged from his own personal struggle with panic attacks. Eventually, he recognized that it was not productive to avoid or run from his own discomfort. He vowed that he would learn to accept himself and directly address problematic feelings and thoughts. 

The ACT method seeks to develop and expand psychological flexibility. Such flexibility encompasses emotional openness and the ability to adapt thoughts and behaviors in a way that aligns with the person’s goals and values.

It is an action-oriented approach that is based on behavioral and cognitive therapies. Clients learn to stop avoiding inner emotions and thoughts. He learns to accept his inner struggles that have kept  him stuck. As part of the process he commits to making necessary behavioral changes that override these difficulties. The idea is to move forward in his life regardless of what is happening around him or how he feels and thinks about it. The intent here is to go in a positive direction by practicing  taking concrete steps in behavior that reflect one’s true goals and values.

The podcast will explore the ACT approach and assumptions behind it. As we will see, the ACT process inherently reinforces the assumption that therapy and change is difficult. The question is whether the process of change needs to be as difficult as ACT makes it out to be?

Just as in any profession, we as therapists’ want to be successful in our work.

But in therapy, how do we define and measure ‘success’?

Usually we use our insight, intuition, and techniques to coax and persuade our clients to take the next step forward.

When the client moves forward, we express our approval. Their progress often gives us a sense of satisfaction, and we might even give ourselves a ‘pat on the back’ for helping them out. We feel good knowing that our time and effort have made a difference. …And they lived happily ever after…

But what about those clients, who for whatever reason, - don’t get the memo. Although they may come in regularly for their sessions, they do not follow through with the necessary steps that indicate real progress. They seem oblivious to our advice and suggestions, Even when we utilize all of our best techniques… Nothing seems to work for them!  

And the worst part is - they don’t even realize that for us to be ‘successful’, we rely on their cooperation! From our vantage point in the therapist’s chair, it is very clear who is at fault when progress is not happening. So now what?!

But did you catch what’s going on here? There’s something off!

If the therapist’s success is defined by the client’s outward progress, this can never be considered as true success because it will always depend on the client’s motivation and willingness to participate - which is out of our control. 

This podcast will explore how therapists can feel truly successful without relying on the client’s cooperation or emphasis on behavioral progress.

Many therapists’ often view their role as ‘helping the client repair trauma.’ But what does this exactly mean? What is the trauma that needs repair? Does this refer to repairing thoughts, emotions, relationships, perception, self-esteem, being present? Did I miss any? And if you say - repairing ’all of the above’, then OK, - but where do we start? Which is part of trauma needs the most repairing?

You might say – Well the client has to decide that… But the person may have been so traumatized that they don’t even know where to begin.

In this podcast we will explore basic questions around the idea of ‘repair’. We will look at the client’s resistance and role in this process, and how the therapist can best support the client in the ‘repair process’ to let go of the past, and facilitate a better future.

If you ask most therapists whether doing therapy is ‘hard or easy’ the majority would say that “Doing therapy is hard”. After all, it’s not so easy to get people to change their behavior. You have to convince, encourage, motivate, or reward them. And with a little luck - maybe, maybe, change will eventually happen; but only if the client puts in the ‘time and effort’.

But there’s a problem here!

If the therapist thinks it’s hard for people to change, then automatically the message the client gets is that ‘changing must be hard’. So very often the client ends up confirming the therapist’s bias.

The podcast has a short video segment from a reality TV show called ‘Couples Therapy’. It follows a therapist as she works with different couples. To be honest, I felt sorry for the therapist because her expectation was that the nature of therapy is that it’s going to be a struggle, and therefore she herself was working ‘very hard’ to process their issues. As a result, the clients were also very intense and serious during sessions. I found the atmosphere to be very heavy, with everybody, including the therapist, struggling. So it was no big surprise when each couple discovered that they had deeply ingrained problems that would need a lot of time and effort to overcome. I got exhausted just watching how hard therapy is ‘supposed to be’.

But maybe there’s another way. When the therapist learns to do therapy easy, then clients pick up on that – and the therapy process becomes relaxed and open – which allows change to happen in a light and EZ way…

One of the biggest issues in therapy is working through childhood trauma. Our development during childhood is significant since these early experiences formulate our most basic assumptions of who we are, the nature of the world, and whether our very existence is safe or in danger. In many ways, our childhood experiences define our view and understanding of ourselves, our world, and our ability to navigate our surroundings.

Of course, the major impact of our childhood ‘imprint’ experiences is most often influenced by the degree and type of parental nurturing; whether we were protected or neglected; whether we were appreciated or considered a burden, etc. To some degree there is scientific evidence that we may even inherit certain genetic parental tendencies, talents, and mental or emotional outlooks. It is often these underlying parental attitudes that develop into the unspoken and hidden dynamics of who people are prone to become as adults. In this podcast we will explore the best methods and techniques to overcome deep inner childhood trauma that may have had a profound imprint on subconscious perceptions and attitudes.  

Everybody knows CBT works. Research indicates positive results, and it is often described as an ‘evidence based treatment’. However, the question is – Why does it work?

There have been efforts to ‘deconstruct’ CBT’ and break down treatment videos in order to isolate and identify those aspect(s) that consistently influence positive change. Research tried to figure out whether the key to success was in helping the client recognize their - cognitive distortions; thinking errors; problematic core beliefs; rigid black and white thinking; or something else? And what did the research find??  – None of the above.

In fact the research couldn’t figure out why it works!

So while they know it works!

They just don’t know ‘why’.

However, in this podcast we will reveal the ‘secret ingredient’ that propels CBT’s success.

And the answer will surprise you!

In fact - it is sooo obvious, that you’ll wonder why you didn’t think of it yourself…