19 Days and Beyond: How Paul Meese Turned Grief into a Legacy of Kindness | Conversations with a Chiropractor

What happens when the person you built your life with is gone in less than three weeks?

In this deeply human episode of Conversations with a Chiropractor, Dr. Stephanie Wautier talks with Paul Meese, author of 19 Days: One Man's Journey Through Grief, about the sudden loss of his wife Ruth, the chaos of hospital systems, and what grief actually looks like when you stop trying to be "strong" and start being honest.

Paul walks through the 19 days from Ruth's stroke to her passing, the conversations no one wants to have with doctors, and why power of attorney, clear wishes, and real advocacy matter long before crisis hits. He also shares how anger, exhaustion, and loneliness eventually gave way to road trips, counseling, writing, and a choice to keep giving in Ruth's name.

From scholarships for women in machining to senior dog rescue and donating airline miles so families can say goodbye in person, Paul shows how grief can grow into something active, grounded, and quietly powerful.

If you've lost someone, love someone, or know you'll someday have to step into that advocate role, this conversation will stay with you.

🎧 In This Episode, Discover:

• How 19 days in the hospital changed everything for Paul and Ruth

• Why power of attorney, clear medical directives, and asking blunt questions can literally shape someone's final days

• What grief really looked like for Paul in the first year, including anger at "normal problems" and walking away from his HR career

• How a solo back-roads road trip and a counselor's suggestion turned into the book 19 Days: One Man's Journey Through Grief

• How book sales now help fund scholarships in Ruth's honor at Front Range Community College and Lakeland University

• Why Paul supports causes like Give A Mile and Albert's Dog Lounge, and how small acts of generosity became part of his healing

• The simple phrase Paul carries forward from Ruth's life and his own journey: "Please be kind."

Stay Connected & Explore:

Learn More About Paul & 19 Days:

• Paul's Website – 19 Days: One Man's Journey Through Grief: https://20daysandbeyond.com

Support Ruth's Legacy:

• Ruth M. Meese Memorial Scholarship – Front Range Community College (info via Paul's site): https://20daysandbeyond.com/scholarship/

• Paul M. Meese '82 Music Endowed Scholarship – Lakeland University (gifts via Lakeland's giving page): https://lakeland.edu/give PLEASE FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS TO GIVE DIRECTLY TO PAUL'S SCHOLARSHIP (on the linked page above) click the *GIVE NOW* button, fill out the information. for the *Please direct my gift to:* section be sure to select "Endowed/Specific Scholarship (Specify in Comments)", continue to fill out the information, and then at the bottom where you find the COMMENTS box, please specifiy the "Paul M. Meese '82 Music Endowed Scholarship" as your chosen endowment/scholarship.

Organizations Paul Cares About:

• Give A Mile – Donate miles to help families see loved ones in critical or palliative care: https://giveamile.org

• Albert's Dog Lounge – Senior & special-needs dog rescue: https://www.albertsdoglounge.org

Connect with Conversations with a Chiropractor:

• Follow Us on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@ConversationswithaChiro

• Follow Dr. Stephanie on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wautierwellness

• Email for Show-Related Inquiries and Sponsorships: [email protected]

Credits: Podcast production by Brand|Sound. Start your podcast journey by emailing [email protected].

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Conversations with a Chiropractor 00:41 Meet Paul Meese: A Multifaceted Life 01:06 The Tragic Passing of Ruth 01:43 Medical Struggles and Advocacy 05:45 The Final Days and Power of Attorney 11:03 Navigating Grief and Retirement 19:18 A Love Story: From Neighbors to Life Partners 23:31 Ruth's Career and Legacy 25:36 Crafts and Playgroups in Delaware 25:55 Moving to California and Colorado 26:49 Ruth's Role in the Machining Program 28:40 Establishing a Scholarship in Ruth's Honor 29:43 Writing and Publishing the Book 31:22 Supporting Grieving Men 33:20 Charitable Contributions and Volunteering 47:43 Final Thoughts and Legacy