Got MAFS UK Kieran on my mind. His indecision in his relationship to Kristina led me to think about our agency in relationships. When he keeps going on about being stuck and not knowing what to do, he's acting as though the situation is 'static'. That if he continues his relationship with her, he'll be going down one specific, carved out path, with no point of return. He acts as if he's no role to play in it. He talks about how she needs more emotional support than he can give, and he'll risk losing himself in the process. Guess what Kieran mate, that's on you. You get to decide how much you give, and how you set priorities in any relationship. It's not always easy, especially if you've got the habit of being a 'saviour' or haven't always had great boundaries. But that's something any of us can work on, at any point in our lives or relationships. Talking about Kieran made me reflect on my holiday with family, my own boundaries, and why I got so burnt out. I'd gone into the holiday that thinking being a great sister or aunt, meant I had to be constantly "on it" and ready take care of my nephew at every moment. I realised a bit late that that's unrealistic and not necessary. When you try to be a saviour, and make yourself readily available to anyone at every moment, you end up being useful to no one.

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