Stealing from a popular replay of Parents of the Year, Andrew and Caroline discuss goal setting with kids. Rather than assigning goals or correcting what isn’t working, this episode focuses on working with children to help them identify goals that actually feel meaningful to them. When kids have a say, they are far more likely to stay engaged and follow through.

The discussion covers how parents can use what they already know about their children — their temperament, strengths, and challenges — to guide goal setting in a way that feels achievable, relevant, and motivating.

Setting SMART Goals With Kids (Without Turning It Into a Battle)

Step 1: Start With Reflection  Before setting any new goals, take a few minutes to reflect together. Ask:

• What felt easier this year than it used to?
• What was hard, but you stuck with it anyway?
• What are you proud of yourself for?

Step 2: Choose One Area to Focus On Start with a conversation. Ask what they want to get better at this year. Brainstorm ideas, keeping it open and pressure-free. Keep this small. One area is enough. 

Step 3: Turn It Into a SMART Goal

S – Specific What exactly are we working on? “What does that look like when it’s happening?”

M – Measurable  How will we know it’s happening? “What would we see or hear if this was going well?”

A – Achievable Is this realistic right now?“Does this feel doable, even on a tough day?”

R – Relevant Why does this matter to you? “How will this help you at school or with friends?”

T – Time-Bound What’s the time frame? “Should we try this for the next two weeks or for this month?”

Example :  “I will practice staying calm during homework by taking one break when I feel overwhelmed, at least three times a week for the next month.”

Step 4: Create One Tiny Action Step

Big goals fail when there’s no plan. Ask:

• What’s one small thing you can do when this gets hard?
• What’s your first move?

Step 5: Decide How You’ll Support Them

This is where adults shift into the consultant role. Ask:

• What might make this hard?
• How can I help when if this gets tricky?

Let your child lead this decision. 

Step 6: Track Effort, Not Perfection

Check in once a week (with curiosity rather than reminders or lectures). Focus on:

• What worked
• What felt hard
• What you’d tweak

Celebrate effort, even when the outcome isn’t perfect.

Write the SMART goal on a card or sticky note and keep it visible!

Resources:

• Goal setting blog: https://korupsychology.ca/setting-goals/
• Overpowering Emotions Podcast (Episode 99 – goal setting)
• Problem-solving skills: https://korupsychology.ca/develop-problem-solving-skills/
• Making informed decisions:

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