Middlesbrough have the misfortune of turning up at Anfield as Liverpool are in full flow, dispensing a routine 4-0 beating without breaking into a sweat. Craig Johnston has the good sense to injure himself early on, while Jim Platt attempts to better King Canute, but is overwhelmed by the red tide. All is so straightforward that Graeme Souness doesn’t even bother to maim any of his former colleagues.

There’s time for a trip to The Hawthorns where West Bromwich Albion and Everton are sartorial elegance itself in glorious Umbro kits. The quality of the game is not quite so polished.

Elsewhere, Don Revie finds himself in Courtroom 13 and immediately invests in a hundredweight of rabbit’s feet to try to lift the curse. Richard Adams is moved to write Watership Down in response.

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