Did you think that the worst goal Peter Shilton ever conceded was when he jumped downwards to let Diego Maradona palm in the Hand of God goal? Well, you were wrong. Come with us to Selhurst Park in December 1979 and watch him allow a shot that barely has the strength to get over the line roll between his legs and in. Brian Clough, full of the milk of human kindness, reacts afterwards by saying, I can’t think of a worse thing to happen to the poor lad’, while having a fit of hysterics, before offering to insert a microphone into Brian Moore. Meanwhile, a Selhurst Park ball boy is nearly mummified by a roll of raffle tickets and Shilton and John Burridge conduct close inspections of each other’s kitbags at the final whistle. All human life is here.

Southampton take the long trek to Ayresome Park but Steve Williams takes the new ball and produces a glorious outswinger that deceives Jim Platt for the game’s only goal. Glorious second half chaos ensues when a penalty is missed, scored, retaken and missed. Back in the studio, Brian Moore is incandescent with rage at the referee’s bout of premature adjudication.

Then we have the unsuspecting Tommy Docherty, a few hours before rupturing a leg muscle at the hands of Manchester City supporters on his train home, watching his side draw with Wrexham at Loftus Road.

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