1K John Doe Stories.

Story #1 - Answering this seriously: I'm 19 and had a crush on a girl I play frisbee with for a solid year. She invited me to her bible study and a couple weeks later she was going to start up HS again. So the night before she started school again at bible study, I was going to say something, but I chickened out.

Driving away, I was just like "Screw this, I'm just going to tell her how I feel and get it over with." So I texted her asking if she would meet me outside her house in 10 minutes, and she was confused as I had just left but agreed.

10 minutes later I walked up to her and said "Hey, I know you have a busy life, but I'm going to regret it if I don't tell ya this. You're a really incredible person, and I really like ya. You don't havta feel the same, but if you're intristed I'd love to do something with ya and get to know you better."

Turns out she had feelings for me too. This was about 2 months ago, and right now I'm looking at a cut on my hand I got from playfully wrestling her into a pink beanie just a few hours ago.

You could say things turned out well. Story #2 - I was in grade 9, same as her. She was one of the popular girls, and I was a socially awkward long-haired guy who

played in a shiity local metal band.

We've been hanging around within a group of friends on and off for a couple of months before I gathered all my courage and confessed my feelings to her. She said she knew that already, because apparently I wasn't good at hiding my affection towards her, and then there was the classic "I love you as a friend" line. I died inside a little, decided to

pretend the conversation never happened.

About a week later she started texting me at nights about random things, from the movie she'd like to see to the fact that her dad was beating her up. I happily supported her, sometimes those conversations lasted until morning, but obviously I didn't care about sleep. On more than one occasion I asked her out to see movies she mentioned, visit places she wanted to, etc. She always turned me down.

This weird relationship continued for another year. One night, during one of these nightly chats, she texts: "My parents are leaving town next weekend. You wanna come over?" Of course, I agreed, we used to throw parties all the time back then, and it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. Then she replied: "I mean only you. I want to spend a night with you". I was freaking petrified. This came completely out of nowhere to me. I still remember how I heard my heartbeat in the back of my ears. I collected myself, and after a short further conversation, agreed to come to her place on the weekend.

Sure enough, we started making out, then we ended up losing our virginity to each other. I felt happy beyond words. completely lost my mind. The next day she left after her parents for a vacation. It took me almost a year to get over her. In the end I would like to leave you with a quote, " Love is just a friendship that has caught fire."

Story #1 - Moved to a new school in 7th grade and was doing fine-making friends, good grades. Then somehow ran afoul of this bigger kid (he'd been held back a few times). Typical bully-pushed little kids into lockers, loved to torment girls and ran with a pack of acolytes who adored and aped him. In Texas at the time, if a kid didn't like you, he "called you out" (challenged you to a fight after school). Well, "Zed" calls me out one day, because I was a "***** from New York." Clueless me (moved there from said NY. where people are civilized), I said, "Sure, ok."

A few days later, in front of his acolytes and a small group of my friends, he proceeds to beat the crap out of me. It was 7th grade, so the damage wasn't excessive-mostly to my pride. Spent the rest of middle school known as one of the guys "Zed beat the crap out of.

Fast forward about seven years, home from college and going to the grocery store for mom. Who should I see bagging my goodies but Zed. Taking a look at him, I see a horrible scar running from the top of his head down around the back of his skull and neck and under his shirt. His face lights up when he sees me, and he says, in slightly slurred speech, "Hey! Didn't we go to school together? We're friends from school, right?" He walks with me out to the parking lot, and as we walk I learn that he had been hit by a car in high school while biking home one day. Accident required a half-dozen surgeries and had left Zed mentally impaired and a completely different person.

He put my stuff in the car, shook my hand for a good 30 seconds and kept asking me to "come back and see me sometime!" I had hated few people in my life to that point, and no one more than him. Almost cried driving home, I felt so bad for him and disgusted with myself for my previous hatred. Story #2 In grade 10, my locker was next to that of one of the most popular guys in school. I was not so popular. When both at our lockers, he would regularly whisper close to my face that I was a stupid s*** and that he was going to rape me. Fast forward 4 years at a party, he shows up. Out of morbid curiosity. I speak to him. He started hitting on me, obviously not recognizing who I was. I laughed and said loud enough for everyone around us to hear "I'm not going to frick you, especially after you threatened to rape me almost ever day of grade 10!". He was horrified. I smiled and walked away.

Story #1 - Ours was extremely smart and very athletic, he was an incredible wrestler and undefeated throughout highschool. I saw him at a party at a friend's house randomly and we caught eyes a few times and eventually we just approached each other and said hello, exchanged bro hugs. Mind you, we hardly talked. The only time we really did was when I told him to stop picking on someone and told me he would kick my butt instead. He was a lovely guy.

Anyway, he hadn't changed one bit. He tried to pick fights with people throughout the night and kept looking at me while he was in yelling matches with people. So I kept getting in between him and the other person telling them both to calm down. This happened a few times until it started getting a little physical and he looked at me again. So I stood up and he tried to push the quy one more time, so I grabbed him by his shoulders and started pushing him back telling him to cool it and I thought "What the frick am I doing... He is an angry wrestler that can take me down..." Once I got him back a ways and told him to knock it off he just looked at me and said "You know what I could do to that guy, but I don't want to. Please, stop me."

It was the saddest "HOLD ME BACK BRO" moment I have ever been a part of. It was odd that he kept looking for me to stop his fights, but I was glad I was that guy for a bit. Anger is the fire of Ego that burns all the beauties of heart and soul. Story #2 -. When I was a kid, I was fat. I used to get picked on all the time by this kid at church named Rusty. He was about five years older

than me and every couple of weeks he would beat me up. I moved away when I was about 14, and thankfully. I didn't have to deal with him anymore.

When I went to college, I decided to get my act together and get healthy. To that end. I started taking mixed martial arts. I did it for about two years and lost about 40 pounds.

When I graduated, I moved back to where I was from and started looking for a new MMA gym. I went to the most reputable one. and who should be there, but Rusty. It sounds too good to be true, but I swear to God, it happened. He hadn't changed a bit. The first thing he said to me was "Finally trying to learn to defend yourself, huh?"

I had called ahead and the instructor knew my deal and had arranged for me to come watch. I left my gear in the car. At the end of class, they do free rolling, Ju Jitsu sparring. Rusty comes up to me, having no knowledge that I am the least bit experienced, and starts begging the instructor to let him spar me, so he can show me the ropes". After all, he's been in MMA for three months now. AND he never misses a UFC pay-per

view. I went outside and changed. Long story short, we sparred, and I choked him out three times. Afterwards, I signed up for classes, he grabbed his bag, left, and never came back.

This is my favorite story out of everything that has happened in my life thus far. I'm the only person I know that got to beat up my childhood bully as an adult. Revenge is the sweet dish best served with surprise.

Story #1 -. I was working in a video rental store in Houston, circa 1989, about two years after I graduated high school. In comes a girl that had always been awful to me from 10th grade to graduation. She would cross a room just to say something mean, and I had no history with this girl at all. I had never actually said a word to her, all our exchanges were just her saying something mean to me. I didn't even know her last name. I must have reminded her of someone...She comes into the store and sheepishly said that she wanted 3 dirty movies. She didn't seem to remember me. She said her best friend was getting married and she wanted some dirty movies for the bachelorette party. The shop had a small 'adult' room that you had to access by coming behind the counter. but she didn't want to go in there. She asked me to select three films. She was squirming with embarrassment as I tried to find out what she was into and kind of acted like I thought the films were for her and her alone. She said, just grab three good ones. I don't care... So I selected three all lesbian p***'s and she slunk out with them. I would have loved to see the look on their faces when they popped those tapes in. She returned them thru the night drop so she wouldn't have to look anyone in the eye when she brought them back. She rented on her parents account. I sent a notice thru the mail to her parents that Mona's Three Way c*** Party had been returned damaged and they owed us 30 dollars. Story #2 -. This one is a classic.

This girl used to torment me all through high school and middle school. Really went out of her way to tear me down. Whenever we had a class together, she would make her extreme dislike for me apparent and, of course, other kids followed. I couldn't open my mouth without some kind of ridicule. Of course I was miserable, and my dad would try to cheer me up. "Don't worry kiddo. one day she'll be working at a McDonalds and serving you fries." He actually referred to her as McDonalds for years. A couple years after graduating high school I went to a Hardee's with my dad. And there was McDonalds behind the counter. So I

go up to place my order and before I finish she says, "you don't remember me, do you?" "Oh, I remember you."

"Oh... so, would you like fries with that?" Way to go, dad. Called it 9 years in advance.

Story #1 -. This crazy, hilarious coincidence that turned a kinda lame prank into a legendary one that I'll never forget. I hope someone else on Reddit can finally appreciate this story.

Me and a friend in high school snuck around a third friend during lunch one day sneaking photos of him from different angles and then texting him creepy messages with the photo like "I'm watching you" and "I can smell you from here" and "youre so cute im getting closer". Each time we'd send the message and run somewhere else and watch his reaction, trying to find his stalker.

The last picture we took was from a window overlooking him sitting in a courtyard. We sent the picture with another creepy message and watched from the edges of the window, giggling like school girls (we're guys).

Just as our friend starts trying to look up to the window to see who was taking the pictures, a random chubby guy walked up the stairwell where we were hiding and saw us giggling and peeking out the window.

This guy was not in high school, he looked at least 20 and I'd never seen him in my life. No idea why he was there, but this glorious mother****** walks up to the window, looks down to our friend staring up at him, and then decides to lift up his shirt, rub his hairy nipples and stick his tongue out at him.

He then lowered his shirt and continued his walk up the stairwell, never to be seen again. Story #3-. In school we had an English teacher who was close to retirement & had really poor eyesight.

A mate started the lesson on the right side of the classroom & managed to shuffle both himself & his desk to the back of the room and then over to the left.

He then managed to climb through the window, sauntered round the building, came back into the room & apologised for being late. He did all that not to leave but to see if he could. It's not about skipping school, it's about sending a message. After this incidence I don't know how many people must have tried to see if they could enter LATE in that teacher's class.

Stroy #1 -. Not one student, but all seniors.

It was customary at our school that on a hot day near the end of the year, seniors would start a water balloon fight. It was usually quite small and the teachers were used to it, so they could put a stop to it quickly. Not this time though.

We had been dropping hints here and there for several days/ weeks beforehand: talking about it in hallways, within earshot

of teachers. Leaving behind (empty) balloons. Etc. The day before the actual attack, after school hours, we brought thousands of balloons to the school and a good 10-20 people started filling them at water fountains and in the tollets. We kept them in big buckets (filled with water so the balloons wouldn't burst) and hid them in the bushes around the school.

The day of the attack, we had some mock maneuvers: groups of people would suddenly start running towards the school entrance, the toilets, the principal office. Teachers would be *running to stop us, only for nothing to happen.

Then came the actual attack: everyone suddenly ran into the bushes, grabbed the buckets and started unleashing hell on the other kids. The teachers closed in, trying to destroy our balloons, but there were just so many, they couldn't get rid of them. Everyone was soaking wet after...

The most legendary thing though wasn't the number of balloons or the planning of the attack - It was the fact that each and every senior participated in that: buying balloons, bringing buckets, filling balloons, etc. Everyone did something. Despite all the high school drama, we managed to all come together for this epic prank. Story #2 -. We are trying to enter a class, Teacher tries to open the door, it does not move.

Teacher says he'll ask the maintenance dudes to help open it.

While he's away, dude tries to force the door open. Instead falls through the door, as he just creates a hole. Doing so, It does however open the door.

Teacher comes back without maintenance guy.

Teacher blanks for a moment, then says "Thanks for opening the door. I'll need to know who to thank." No one answers, but only one dude has pieces of wood in his hair, so he got caught. Mess with the bull and you will only get horns. The world is an imperfect place. Screws fall out all the time.

Story #1 - My friend once was pissed off at the rest of us guys(5 of us). He chased us into the bathroom because he wanted to be a tough guy and thought one of us was hiding in a stall. He says "peekaboo I see you!" And kicks the stall door in on a teacher we all knew, taking a crap. The teacher said "I see you too Nathan, now close the door." I will die the day I forget about that. The teacher's response was legendary. Honestly, what do you do at this point? Invite them over for a cup of tea or to play a musical chair's game? Basically our friend tried to chase us to beat the shit out of us but maybe he did that to our teacher. Story #2 -. Maybe not legendary, but an interesting (and funny) experiment.

There were three high schools in my home town. Two of them, both named after famous historical figures of said town, were in a sort of rivalry with each other nothing serious, but the students would casually trash talk the other school a lot, mostly in good fun.

Each school had a display case with a bust of their respective historical namesake somewhere in the building. They were just some decoration, object that you would pass by every single day and pay little attention to. So we figured we'd test how little attention people actually paid these things.

So one night, a few buddies of mine and I got together. Most of us were from my school, but we had a few "inside men" from the other one as well. We split up into two teams, got access to both buildings simultaniously, picked open the very cheap locks on the display cases, grabbed the busts and switched them. Keep in mind, these schools were not that close to one another, and none of us had been old enough to drive at that point, so we had to carry these fucking limestone busts through half the town. We then locked the busts into the display cases again and left. We had managed completely non-destructive entry to both schools, so nobody ever found out.

It took almost an entire school year for anyone to notice. To this day, no teacher has ever found out who was reponsible. But no damage was done, so they didn't try too hard to figure it out. Stroy #3 -. This kid once brought a backpack full, and I mean completely full of marbles to school. He went to the main staircase near the front up the third floor and dumped the whole bag over the stairwell. How those marbles didn't break the glass trophy case at the bottom is beyond me but marbles went everywhere. Surprisingly he never got caught. He either managed to run to one of the stairwells at the end of the hall and get to the bottom before teachers had time to react or he hid somewhere until the first bell rang. Ok, this sound ls like an Ok Go music video.I mean it could be, idk anything about that group. This happened back in like 2005. Kid went on to disgrace himself and be sentenced 16 years in prison for military espionage....so. Maybe he still blames it on losing his marbles.

Story 1 - There was a stone cold gourmet chef from Apulia. Italy that owned a bunch of restaurants in NJ then moved to Panama City Beach, FL to "retire" (meaning working 6 12 hour shifts a week instead of 7) The food was amazing, but the waitresses were your typical waffle house gals. "Our spechal today is the G-nokki Gorgonzoola" stuff like that.

I was bartending on the weekends and my Friend Rachel was at the bar drinking wine and we were talking. This guy having dinner with his wife, kids, parents and in-laws comes to the bar and starts flirting with her. He's been drinking. He offers her a shot of top shelf vodka, She reluctantly accepts. $7. She drinks it and thanks him.

He goes back to the table and after a few minutes motions to give her another shot. She says she doesn't want it, so I pour her a shot of water. She lifts the glass. lifts it towards him and downs it. Few minutes later, he motions for another. Another $7 shot of water. She lifts it and then leaves in on the bar.

The table finishes their dinner, load up the kids and old folks into the van, and the man comes back in and leans against the bar

and starts flirting. The wife comes in and touches his shoulder. "Herb, let's go, we're waiting. He takes the shot of what he thinks is vodka, throws it full into his wife's face, she runs out completely humiliated and he turns around cool as you please as if to say "now where were we?" I mean this guy deserves a high five... High five... In the face.... With a bottle! #Story - 2. I work in a college town bar and every Wednesday our bar does liquor pitcher night where a person could get a pitcher of liquor for 5 bucks so usually people always get super trashed by the end of the night. Well one night after close we had been cleaning up the front of the bar and we here some pounding on the door and we open it up and we see this drunk girl coming running in saying that we stole her wallet. so after we calm her down and look around for our wallet one of the bar backs decides to check the bathrooms and ends up finding a drunk chick just asleep on the bathroom floor which is always nasty at the end of the night. So the chick wakes up just starts walking out of the bar and the girl that was in there that was looking for her wallet says thanks you found her and they leave. so if we see that girl come in the bar again we call her wallet.

Story #1 Clean her tongue. I used to be a bar manager. One of my youngest bartenders notices a guy slobbering all over some girl...I mean really cleaning each other's tongues. Dude walks up to the bar and orders a drink. Young bartender says to him" Hey. I wouldn't be making out with that girl if I were you...". Douchebag customers says"frick you, don't tell ME what to fricking do!" What the douchebag customer didn't know was that the girl he was making out with had just sucked off the bartenders friend in the parking lot...MINUTES before. He might have known, it may have been part of their plan. Hence why he was cleaning her tongue like a mother lion. Story #2 Nine-Quarter Nipple Band. I'm not a bartender but I saw something pretty crazy at a dive bar once. There was a trio of drunk Harley-type women at the next table.

We started talking and drinking together and eventually one of these chicks old men suggested that the "ladies" have a big nipple contest. Now I personally have never attended such a contest so I assumed that what was going to be measured was the areola. I was mistaken. The actual length of the nip itself was what this contest was about.

The unit of measurement for this contest was a stack of quarters. Boobs were taken out, nips were compared, three quarters. four quarters,ect. Suddenly I saw a sight that I can never unsee the winner of this contest-NINE quarters long! They were like tiny penii! The sight sobered me up and I never want to see another big nipple contest as long as I live. Although I think Nine-Quarter Nipple should be the name of a band.

Hi people, I am a John Doe. I am taking up a 1000 Days challenge wherein I'll bring you wonderful and exciting 1000 stories of tonnes of John Does out there from around the world. Happy listening to you John Doe.