If you have a great relationship with your father, I bet that the thing that’s most important to you about that bond isn’t that he provided for your family financially. It was his emotional support and intentional presence that made that relationship special. And who else would be a better guest to talk about fatherhood than my husband, Julien Lane? You might know him as “Homey” (if you know, you know), but Julien is the true embodiment of modern fatherhood. From holding space for our family’s feelings and helping us emotionally regulate, to modeling what it looks like to be a supportive husband, we talk about all things fatherhood in the year 2025.

Resources mentioned:

• Father Involvement and Children's Academic Achievement - Journal of Marriage and Family, 2016
• Book Rec: Fair Play by Eve Rodskey
• The Fair Play Deck: A Couple's Conversation Deck for Prioritizing What's Important

Some key takeaways from this episode include:

• Being a present father is about WAY more than your financial contributions. When you spend time being invested - and I mean emotionally invested and physically present - in your kids’ lives, it improves their development and leads to a healthy bond well into their adulthood.
• According to this study, children with highly involved fathers scored 15% higher on cognitive development tests. Sons showed 35% better emotional regulation. Daughters had 27% higher self-esteem. 
• Our biggest tip for being a more intentional father? Learn the mental load without being asked. Get to know your family’s daily, weekly, and monthly routines and rhythms. How can you take ownership of some of those routines?

Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself.

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