Join Matthew as he speaks candidly (and humorously!) with Carmen and Rob about relationship anarchy, navigating multiple partnerships, open and closed periods of their 10+ yr relationship, the possibility of reprogramming one’s mind and body, attunement, transparency, listener tips for open relationships, and all around fun and relational sweetness.

A portion of my friend Madelyn Ilana’s song “Coming Into the Light” plays out this episode. Please support her work by purchasing her music at https://madelynilana.bandcamp.com/. You can find out more about her at www.madelynilana.com. Thank you Madelyn!

0:00 Introduction

5:27 Feelings check in

7:45 How Carmen and Rob met in Shanghai through a friend

15:57 The start of friendship

17:46 Early impressions (and judgments) of each other

21:37 Carmen and Rob’s beginnings with and philosophy of Relationship Anarchy

24:09 Carmen and Rob reflect on the beginnings of love and comfortability around each other

30:42 Becoming a couple

33:27 More on Relationship Anarchy - the philosophy of it and coming to embody it

36:05 How Rob is working through the emotions of Carmen having sustained intimacy with others

38:37 Carmen’s monogamous relationship history - programming of having “eyes only for one” and her journey with feeling like something was fundamentally wrong with her

41:57 Carmen meeting Rob and learning the term non-monogamy, and being met in that

43:02 The painful (and beautiful) beginnings of practicing non-monogamy and putting it on hold twice

49:07 Recent real examples of dating others and how each one works with the emotions that come up

53:11 Carmen’s other current relationship, the difficult relationships preceding this solid connection

55:37 Old patterns resurfacing, working through them

58:07 “Talk with me like I’m your best friend” - approaching full transparency with each other

60:12 Attunement and transparency

1:03:05 Listener tips for having an open relationship - establishing a solid foundation to allow for more freedom

1:08:17 Open relationships as a path for growth and supporting each partner’s freedom, being willing to give your partner away

1:12:17 Being with the possibility of loss of your partner as a way to deepen relationship

1:17:07 Listener tips - self-cultivation practice and anchor, finding non-judgmental supports

1:21:49 Outro - Madelyn Ilana “Coming Into the Light”