What I learned from the 7 Habits. (Part 5) The key to influencing others is to first allow them to influence you. As Stephen R. Covey said, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood." It's okay to let others go first. When they feel like you understand, it's much more likely they'll listen to what you have to say. However, if they don't feel understood, it's much more likely they'll be focused on responding instead of listening.