It's Planet Porky time again as Mike Parry and Lesley-Ann Jones guide you through the biggest stories of the week. 

Today's topics include: LAJ's new clerical appointment, the Eurovision song contest, giving ABBA no points, the multi-faceted Martin Bashir BBC scandal and the damage it's done to the Royal Family, Hampton Court, Terry Venables, women taking over the church, the Chelsea Flower Show, Ringo Starr, The Queen's cuties, proposals for a new royal yacht, snooker, the fascination of George Best, gifted genius and Gerry Rafferty. Clowns may well be to the left and jokers to the right, but you're stuck in the middle with Planet Porky.

Follow the show on Twitter: @PlanetPorky or Mike is: @MikeParry8 while you can find Lesley-Ann: @LAJwriter.

Or you can email us questions or comments to: [email protected]. We'd love to hear from you!