Heather is in no mood this week on Love After Lockup. She’s at Threat Level Midnight and needs vaginal relief immediately or we’re all going to die. The only one who can save the planet is Dylan. 2020 is really friggin dark. Maybe John could take Dylan into his basement lair as long as he’s inviting Iowa’s Finest to live/deal/use there? 

Speaking of wormy men, Bennett shares his talent-in-progress on Married at First Sight (19:14). The couples retreat from isolation to isolation in the woods. Let me guess who planned this one…rhymes with “Ass or Pal”?

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