In this episode Nicoleta explores the relationship between sexuality, family dynamics and happiness with Desa Markovic, Professor of Systemic Psychotherapy at Regent's University London.


Inspired by her own personal journey in life, Serbian born Desa has dedicated more than 2 decades to the field of sexual and family health starting with her training in clinical psychology in Yugoslavia, “a country that unfortunately does not exist anymore”. 


A senior practice consultant for Relate, the largest relationship counselling service in the UK, director of training at the Institute of Family Therapy In London and Head of Programmes in Psychotherapy & Counselling at Regent's University London for 11 years, Desa shares her wisdom in counselling, sexual relationship and family therapy.


They speak about the taboo topic of sex and sexuality and how it is absent even from the counselling and psychotherapy training. Why there is angst in us when we talk about sex and why not enough has changed as there is still a lot of shame, embarrassment and guilt around this topic.


Find out that younger generation seem to be more open to talk about diversity in sex and gender, but relationships are becoming disposable due to the dating apps that offer so much choice and diversity and can lead to disappointment and unhappiness. 


Desa talks about the misconceptions in teaching sex in schools, the excessive emphasis on the biological side of sex and how fantasies, fears and catastrophic thinking about sex start to develop early in life.


Part of the psychosexual therapy work is normalising sexual behaviours that people see as dysfunctions and addressing the emotional aspect of it, the vulnerability of sex.


Learn why self-worth is correlated with sexuality and why adults in their 50s and 60 still try to prove to their parents that they can do things, living their lives to please others, a dynamic that is playing in relationships and in the sexual encounters too.


What to do when one seeks other people’s approval, is unable to say no and cannot express their needs in intimate relationships.


Lastly, why we all need to work on our relationships which does not mean that there is something flawed in our couple, but that we are continuously adjusting to one another. 

Next week listen to the 2nd part of this podcast where they explore:

How parents set boundaries in the family dynamic.
How the messages parents send to children about sex are shaping their sexuality .
What does it mean to have good sex.
Why do we lose our sexual desire.
The difference between sex and sensuality.
What is normal in sexuality.
What we share and what we hide in our bedrooms. 
What are the most common sexual issues that clients bring into the therapy room.
About sexual compulsions, porn and sex addiction, and much more.