Happy New Year! 2020 went out with the Cucumber heard ‘round Mallorca, and I am still here for every single how-you-say momento of it. To see Hillary’s Greatest Hits for yourself https://youtu.be/SfwR8RDZi48. De nada.

I checked back in to Life After Lockup (13:40) just in time to see Lindsey plan her guilty plea of first-degree murder. Most of the other couples have hit the Snooze, but a few sightings of Big Daddy John have me sticking around for a few more episodes. The heart wants what the heart wants, okay?!

My first baby will always be 90 Day Fiance (28:36) & this new season reminds me why it’s still the best show on TV. Between Betty checking all the boxes of batshit MILs everywhere and Stephanie wanting to get her groove back, we’re back to the sweet epicenter of shock, awe, and pure delight at others’ misfortune. Such is The American Way.

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