When he was subsisting on dining hall starch in college, Fed was what Buffalo Bill would call "a great big fat person." I'm not saying that Fed was fat, but when Fed sat around the house, Fed sat around the house. Also, I'm not that saying Fed was fat, but I heard at the time that they were going to tear Fed down and build a hotel. You get the idea.

Meanwhile, ectomorphic young Dan was doing his best imitation of Ichabod Crane. In today's episode, Dan tells a heartbreaking story of trying to do a dead lift in front of all the girls in school, with tragic results.

Please enjoy Episode 21.1 of Dan Wakes Up Screaming.

Music Credits:

“Many Happy Returns” by Guillaume Tucker

“Octopussy” by Juanitos

"The Joys of Spring" by Guido Gialdini

"Birds of Paradise Marching Band" by Taseh

"Classic Rock In Spring" by Kurt Vile

"Poop Your Pants!" by Dan Darbandi

"The Irish Spring" by David Rovics

"Almighty" by Birgitta Victor