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211 - Your Future Is Not In Someone Else's Hands
Cindy Esliger challenges the habit of treating a career like a group decision in this episode, emphasizing that outsourcing choices to managers, mentors, and colleagues is a subtle but powerful form of self-sabotage. She describes how high performers often fall into the trap of seeking permission, especially in environments where their instincts are questioned and their contributions go unrecognized. Over time, this creates self-doubt and disconnects them from their own goals. Cindy introduces the idea of the curse of competence, where being reliable and indispensable leads to invisibility rather than advancement, keeping capable professionals stuck and burned out.
She outlines five common beliefs that reinforce this pattern: 1. Needing more experience before acting, 2. Believing hard work alone will lead to recognition, 3. Thinking it is selfish to prioritize personal goals, 4. Feeling obligated to stay out of loyalty, and 5. Fearing that making a move will let others down. Cindy also highlights the personal and professional consequences of staying in this cycle, consequences that include resentment, loss of confidence, stagnation, and missed financial opportunities. She then shares seven red flags to watch for in the workplace, including credit being misattributed, potential without opportunity, selective mentorship, constantly shifting expectations, toxic positivity, double standards, and the importance of trusting one’s gut when something feels off.
Cindy explains that sometimes the most strategic move we can make is to walk away, and she explains several indicators that alert us when to leave. She also offers eight practical strategies to take back control: 1. Reconnect with our own goals through self-reflection, 2. Shift our language from seeking permission to announcing decisions, 3. Build our own personal advisory boards, 4. Take ownership of our visibility, 5. Practice choosing ourselves without guilt, 6. Reframe the curse of competence as a launch pad instead of a trap, 7. Embrace what we can control and release what we can’t, and 8. Create clear decision-making criteria for ourselves. Her message is direct and practical. A career is not a committee decision, and waiting for permission will only delay progress.
Resources discussed in this episode:
—
Contact Cindy Esliger
Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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By Cindy EsligerCindy Esliger challenges the habit of treating a career like a group decision in this episode, emphasizing that outsourcing choices to managers, mentors, and colleagues is a subtle but powerful form of self-sabotage. She describes how high performers often fall into the trap of seeking permission, especially in environments where their instincts are questioned and their contributions go unrecognized. Over time, this creates self-doubt and disconnects them from their own goals. Cindy introduces the idea of the curse of competence, where being reliable and indispensable leads to invisibility rather than advancement, keeping capable professionals stuck and burned out.
She outlines five common beliefs that reinforce this pattern: 1. Needing more experience before acting, 2. Believing hard work alone will lead to recognition, 3. Thinking it is selfish to prioritize personal goals, 4. Feeling obligated to stay out of loyalty, and 5. Fearing that making a move will let others down. Cindy also highlights the personal and professional consequences of staying in this cycle, consequences that include resentment, loss of confidence, stagnation, and missed financial opportunities. She then shares seven red flags to watch for in the workplace, including credit being misattributed, potential without opportunity, selective mentorship, constantly shifting expectations, toxic positivity, double standards, and the importance of trusting one’s gut when something feels off.
Cindy explains that sometimes the most strategic move we can make is to walk away, and she explains several indicators that alert us when to leave. She also offers eight practical strategies to take back control: 1. Reconnect with our own goals through self-reflection, 2. Shift our language from seeking permission to announcing decisions, 3. Build our own personal advisory boards, 4. Take ownership of our visibility, 5. Practice choosing ourselves without guilt, 6. Reframe the curse of competence as a launch pad instead of a trap, 7. Embrace what we can control and release what we can’t, and 8. Create clear decision-making criteria for ourselves. Her message is direct and practical. A career is not a committee decision, and waiting for permission will only delay progress.
Resources discussed in this episode:
—
Contact Cindy Esliger
Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.