Adam is in the market for some new sound effects, we briefly consider making the podcast Edie-friendly, Adam does not like Leslie's relationship with Bun-Bun, Suburbans are BFCs, Lauren's nastiness begins, Jacob joins the story in the book and is only fifteen, Adam's Michael Keaton Batman imitation is fabulous, Jacob tries to impress Bella, Bella is like a testicle, we get into a genital punching stand-off, Leslie can't pronounce Quileutes, Jacob drops some info bringing us all up to speed on the vampire and werewolf lore, Adam doesn't deserve to love Keanu, we expose big oil, and Adam and Alexa discover things together.