In this episode of Being Different Together, Kelly and Nyssa continue their intentionality mini-series by unpacking another Murray Landsman saying: “Take the hard things easy.” 

They explore how unconscious beliefs about suffering shape our identity—through stories like an anesthesiologist-turned-donut-shop-worker, navigating home renovations, and walking through grief in ways that don’t match other people’s expectations. Along the way, they weave in Zen and Buddhist teachings, the “strong back, soft front” practice, the body’s stress responses (hello, tight psoas and low back pain), and how vulnerability and courage can transform difficult conversations and life transitions. 

If you’ve ever wondered how to meet hard things without hardening yourself—whether it’s loss, conflict, or everyday stress—this episode offers practical, compassionate insights for approaching life with more ease and intention.

Main Topics Covered:

• How much of our suffering is actually required—and how much is a secret performance tied to identity?
• The anesthesiologist who “lost everything” and found unexpected relief working at a donut shop.
• What happens when your grief doesn’t look like what other people expect (and why that can be unsettling for them).
• The surprising connection between low back pain, tight bellies, the psoas muscle, and feeling emotionally under threat.
• “Strong back, soft front”: a Zen-inspired way to meet hard things without hardening yourself.
• How Western individualism and Eastern contemplative traditions offer very different stories about who we are.
• Turning stressful life events—like home renovations and family decluttering—into chances to practice taking the hard things easy.
• The subtle ways we can get “inflated” around our suffering and slip into martyr mode without realizing it.
• Why vulnerability always comes with that inner quiver—and how courage depends on letting it be there.

Links:

• Episode #16 - Intentionality, Part 1: Everything You’ve Done Prepared You For This Moment
• Episode #17 - Intentionality, Part 2: Feeling Good Needs No Excuse
• Episode #18 - Intentionality, Part 3: If You Think You Can Change the World, You Have a Better Chance
• Episode #19 - Intentionality, Part 4: Your Reality is as Good as Anyone Else’s
• Episode #20 - Intentionality, Part 5: It’s Useful to View the Past in a Friendly Way
• Episode #21 - Intentionality, Part 6: There’s More Than Two Ways to Skin a Cat

Newsletter Sign Up:

• Going Upward Newsletter – Get Nyssa’s email newsletter here

Stay in Touch:

Nyssa Hanger: www.nyssahanger.com | IG: @nyssahanger

Kelly Brady: www.kellybrady.me | IG: @drkellybrady