“Both healthy and unhealthy couples fight. The key distinction is how they fight.” This week we share lessons from Dan Bates, a clinical mental health counselor, on the rules of love which he says must be followed to truly love your partner. Troubleshoot your relationship and determine if you might be breaking one of the six argument commandments. Learn to increase intimacy, trust, and respect through establishing ground rules for disagreements.

RESOURCES AND REFERENCES:  

1. Intimacy Has It's Rules, Psychology Today, Dan Bates

2. 3 Nephi 14:12

3. Mary Stallings, Come Follow Me Daily

4. Happy Couples Know These Two Fighting Rules, Harriet Lerner, P.h.D.

5. Dance of Anger, The: A Woman's Guide To Changing The Patterns Of Intimate Relationships

6. The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, Stonewalling

CHAPTER MARKERS:  

0:00- Expanding On Intimacy

14:30- Intimacy, 10 Commandments Style (Rules of Love)

17:07- 1st Rule of Love: Don't Bring Up Past Mistakes 

24:08- 2nd Rule of Love: Don't Interrupt

30:28- 3rd Rule of Love: Don't Be Uncharitable

34:23- 4th Rule of Love: Don't Play the Blame Game

37:58- 5th Rule of Love: No Cheap Shots

40:57- 6th Rule of Love: Don't Change The Subject