“I’m a strong independent woman and I don’t need to rely on anyone to achieve my goals”.

Can you relate to this? I certainly can and I can tell you, my pride in my independence is a great way to self-sabotage. I explain why this week, plus give you some tips to help you stay strong, while also open to help.

Thanks for Zara Game from http://www.facebook.com/yourcureinyourhands who asked the question “What are my 3 biggest mindset blocks or challenges?”

Cheers,

Janet

P.S. If you can relate to this mindset block, you are not alone. You may find the 1 page action plans and free training for the 4 stages of entrepreneurs really helpful. www.thequadrantquiz.com

Transcript

 

Hello and welcome, Janet Becker here with your Wonderful Web TV tip of the week, and today I’m answering part 3 of the question that was sent in by one of the members of our community.

Zara Game asked what are the 3 biggest mindset blocks or challenges that I’ve had to overcome and what did I do to overcome them.

I’ve divided this into 3 videos is because I want to make sure that I give you total value on each of these blocks. So go and check out for the other 2 videos that I’ve got.

Today, I’m going to talk about a mindset challenge that I only really recently realized that I had in fact previously if you had asked me about this I could’ve told you it’s a strength and that is I’m fiercely independent. I do not have to rely on other people to get things done to achieve my goals, I can do it myself, I can find the answers that I need I have the resources within me to be able to go out there and make it happen.

But you know what, sometimes that’s not really a strength. By really valuing your independence and not needing other people in fact can be really pushing people away from you and isolating people and in fact it can be really, really insulting people around you.

Because one thing I have come to recognize is that I get a lot of my self-worth by helping people and I bet a lot of you out there do as well. So, if other people get a lot of their self-worth from helping others, they’re going to get a lot of self-worth by helping me. And by me saying “It’s alright, thanks for the offer but I don’t need to” is kind of a bit of a slap in the face.

I didn’t realize this until recently until somebody said “you know what I really did want to help you but that was a bit insulting actually.” To me that was a shock, “I’m not insulting you, I’m being kind to you by not burdening you.”

It’s very easy to forget that people want to be part of what you’re doing that they want to be part of what you’re doing, that they want to be able to have a part. And so for me, it was a really important part that actually tapped in to a different energy for me to be able to open up and say “Okay well who can I ask to help me with this? Who can I include? Who can I say you know what I really value your opinion or what you can do here or be part of this together?”

With a really different approach to doing things, once you’ve changed your mind on that idea that you were very open to receiving as soon as you make up your mind that you’re open to receiving help from anybody and just saying thank you, it opens up the doors and so many important people will actually come in wanting to give help.

People arrive that they’re going to help solve problems that you’ve got that you didn’t even realize that somebody could help you with.