Uniting for a Shared Burden: An Elul Reflection on Human Interaction Welcome to our special Elul series, a journey through the principles of Shaar HaCheshbon HaNefesh (Gate of the Accounting of the Soul). In this 22nd lesson, we focus on how to approach our interactions with others, whether it's in business, community, or daily life. The core principle to embody is "Love your friend like yourself" ( V'ahavta L're'acha Kamocha ). This means you should desire for others what you desire for yourself, and feel aversion for them regarding what you would not want for yourself. Treat everyone with compassion and mercy, and strive to ensure their well-being. This concept, though applicable year-round, is especially crucial as we prepare for Rosh Hashanah, a time when we stand together as one unit to accept God as our King. The Parable of the Travelers Imagine a small group of people traveling to a distant country. The path is steep and difficult, requiring them to spend many nights camping together. Each person has a heavy load, and they must constantly load and unload their animals on their own. If they were to work together, helping one another with the burdens and easing the overall effort, they would surely succeed. But if they are incompatible, unable to agree on a shared plan, and each person only looks out for their own interests, they will all become exhausted. This is a parable for the world we live in today. He states, "The world bears down on its inhabitants" ( Kaved HaOlam Al Yoshvav ). Why is so much effort required? Because everyone focuses on their own portion, wanting more than their due. When people demand what is not theirs, they end up losing even what is rightfully theirs. Think of it like traffic gridlock. If every driver only cared about themselves, trying to squeeze ahead and run a red light, the entire flow of traffic would stop. Nobody would get to their destination smoothly. This is a metaphor for life. Life is a constant gridlock because people lack patience and concern for others. This is why we are so often dissatisfied and complain—we demand too much from the world, and in turn, the world withholds even our essential needs, forcing us to overexert ourselves. The Benefits of a Collective Mindset If people were satisfied with what they have and worked to improve their own well-being alongside everyone else's, they would "conquer their world" ( Hayu Menatzchim Olamam ) and "get even more than they want out of it" ( U'Magi'im El Yoter MiChaftzam Bo ). Instead, not only do people fail to help one another, they often hinder each other, diluting everyone's abilities and preventing anyone from getting what they truly need. This is further illustrated by a parable found in the Siddur HaGra (Prayer Book of the Vilna Gaon): Imagine a town that catches fire. In those days, everyone would run with pails of water to put out the blaze. But what did those who lacked concern for the common good do? They would pour their water directly on their own storefronts. This might stop the fire from spreading to their property, but the fire would still rage and burn down many other buildings. If everyone had gone with their pails to the source of the fire and worked together, the fire would have been extinguished entirely. This is the lesson for Rosh Hashanah and for every day of the year. We must be concerned with God's kingdom, the success of the Jewish people as a whole, and our collective service to God. If we stop looking at our own "storefronts" and instead unite our prayers and energy at the source of the fire—the spiritual "fire" of the world's brokenness—then redemption will come. The Power of Empathy and Good Counsel Therefore, strive to live your life in a way that reflects this mindset. Seek out loyal friends and interact with them in an honest and wholehearted manner. The Book of Proverbs states, "Oil and incense gladden the heart; so does the sweetness of a friend's heartfelt counsel." ( Shemen U'Ktoret Yesamach Lev, U'Metek Rei'ehu Mei'Atzat Nafesh ). Giving someone good counsel is more valuable than any physical gift or comfort. Focus on the betterment of your family, your community, and the world at large. This may seem like an act of selflessness, but as explained, in the end, it is truly an act of enlightened self-interest , because a world that is whole and harmonious benefits everyone.