We can put in all the effort, all the work, all the intense struggle that we have inside of us to try and overcome trauma, but sometimes it still sticks around. Trauma, especially that which we suffered as children, has a tendency to rear its head at the most surprising moments and all of the self love and self care in the world won’t ever fully heal us. But the amazing thing we can gain from it is wisdom, courage, and a sense of enduring peace and empowerment.

Today, I’m putting it all out there and sharing with you some thoughts I had after a discussion about the book Mother Hunger by Kelly McDaniel. If you’re a regular listener, you’ve probably heard me speak about my mother and the complicated relationship I share with her—this is a further peak into that.

Tune in and listen to episode twenty three of Mamaste with Tanika Ray. I’m diving deep and getting real about the way my upbringing and my relationship with my mother affected everything from the way I learned to love others, to picking men, to parenting my own daughter.

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

• I parent my daughter in a way that I wasn’t when I was a little girl (04:35)
• I’ve put in so much work to overcome my childhood trauma, but it still surfaces and surprises even me (07:00)
• I automatically respond when I'm triggered the way I, unbeknownst to me, triggered my mother. It's all connected (09:23)
• Being a mother myself made me realize that I have the ability in my hands to fuck her life up royally or to make her life manageable (14:44)
• It's so easy to break your child’s heart, to burn out their spirit (18:17)
• Continue to discover yourself, continue to remind yourself what love is, continue to ask yourself and question, “Does this work?” (26:22)
• Mothering yourself can be an amazing experience in healing (32:25)

Resources mentioned:

• Mother Hunger by Kelly McDaniel

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