not a damn good situation, but a damn good transition

*my perfect joke is ruined

*you'll become more of an adult the first time you've done your taxes

*your virginity is your business, no one else's

*it's a whole mer-muh-maaaah!

*dull it with your Shield of Self Knowledge

*doing Phantomly Opera-like things

*don't make me hope that Mike dies!

*you just said you hated me - I'm going to shut my mouth!  ...Actually, one more thing....

*I think there's some comfort in this is how it should be

*step up and be there for your parents

*no transition today - let's talk about dicks!

*it's all turtles' fault

*somebody is waiting to scam you on this mental health disorder today!