Let Me Fix You Dammit!

*Our rambly, grobbly intro *I'm negative! And cuddling! *Why don't we get into terrible horrible things *Hard to joke about a nipple belt after the nine vulva bag *Let's hear how many people Bob Saget defiled *Anyway, back to the murders *Murvers.  Murvers? *Brains just fart *Dissected him i the basement, as you do *You're the trash bag. That's what you get called *Oh, is that all? No, gosh no. *What number represents human misery? *Now that we've diagnosed me with sociopathy from WebMD

*Now say hello like a normal person you aren't

*Don't try this at home

*Cheers!

*Just me and the water

*Humanity, to be human, contains great good and great evil, or at least the potential for it

*You clink then drink

*You're in survival mode, and the effects will happen later

*I don't live in redacted, I live in redacted

*There is not a person in the healthcare field that does not have PTSD

*I can understand that in my head.  However, I can't get out of my head

*How dare you, on our duo comedy podcast, give me someone to bounce off of

*Old timey shitty about it

*That makes all the sense

*Big shock - Freud was pushing for some psychoanalysis

*Which is a step up from the British executing 300 folks

*Another fun historical - well, not fun

*Alexander the Great seems pretty sus

*Just me and the struggling soldiers of the Napoleonic Wars

Good second season evening!

Welcome to Let Me Fix You Dammit with Rae and the ghost of Tim

Let's get into some trauma!

Thankfully I've now activated the cat

Hypnosis is pretty cool!

Not a prodigy of crime

I so greatly apologize to our French listeners

A workable working relationship

One such case wasn't

Until they reeaaaaaally weren't

DSM&M

Hey everyone!  We are SO SORRY this took so long.  Life definitely got in the way these last few weeks.  But we have failed you and beg your forgiveness :-)

*And like a half-maid of honor

*Ew! Oh! God! Ew!

*I don't like words anymore

*We do not recommend drinking away your problems because you won't

*Use your vocal cords out loud

*Let's go with Wendigo

*It's one of my favorite historical facts that's about poop

***edit to the podcast::  I've now been told that cow tipping is NOT actually a thing.  I feel lied to my entire life!!

*I'm over here for you

*My mommy's the best!

*go CDC!

*treat yourself with some patience, too

*I'll cherish that for like 10 minutes

*a xylophone does make a powerful parent attacking weapon

*let me fix you dammit does not condone violence

*Jerry the Jumping French Man of Maine

*from jumping Frenchmen to dying cows

not a damn good situation, but a damn good transition

*my perfect joke is ruined

*you'll become more of an adult the first time you've done your taxes

*your virginity is your business, no one else's

*it's a whole mer-muh-maaaah!

*dull it with your Shield of Self Knowledge

*doing Phantomly Opera-like things

*don't make me hope that Mike dies!

*you just said you hated me - I'm going to shut my mouth!  ...Actually, one more thing....

*I think there's some comfort in this is how it should be

*step up and be there for your parents

*no transition today - let's talk about dicks!

*it's all turtles' fault

*somebody is waiting to scam you on this mental health disorder today!

*It counts in my heart

*my brain disasterizes everything

*creamy deliciousness that you can't imagine

*but I do have a key to your "back door"

*if you'd like Rae to break into your home...

*sometimes making the right choice doesn't lead to a happy ending

*therapists have therapists, and they do for a reason

*in fact it's Brittany's law

*we can't call it Brittany's law

*do you HAVE to deal with them, or do you GET to hang out with them?

*Amok! Amok! Amok!

*just running around having a stab

*Haaapplltttiiiw!

*Drunk me had an itch to scratch

*Reedaaacteede!!  ...Yeah!

*That's hard on the outside and spiky on the inside

*Even *I* would have taken "iron maiden" as a compliment

*Most humans are (squishy) when you open them up

*15 steps to disappointment - tl;dr

*Doing this with you has been nothing but non-stop...disappointment?

*But with me it absolutely does have those conotations

*It's about as solid as my wife's butt

*You think you have a hangnail and suddenly you're dying from brain cancer

*I clicked on the link for Winchester Hospital because of Supernatural

*Let me Severus Snape on over here

*I often feel like Jayne from Firefly

*So what's the one that uses mirrors?!

* the iPhonetic

* Until I've talked to you, you do not exist

*I'm basically still a child

*This 4th time, I'm not Tim!

*When you sit on your hands, do you ever squeeze your butt?

*We all went down to the sock hop and danced the jitterbug!

*That's what I'm here for Tim - to fuck with your confidence

*I'm the guy who feels nothing for his birthday

*Green means come up and lick my mouth!

*It puts a song in your heart and that song is a dirge!

*That's a fun little spiral

*You hear bombs exploding in your head - have you TRIED relaxing?

*It might go away with time.  Who knows? Not us!

*No matter what it is, you've got brain cancer

If something's gonna fix your mental health it's gonna be a good meatloaf

It's not always easy to get that lesson

If you fall of the wagon, the wagon stops for you

As adults you don't take months off

You're gonna be the ghost of Flag Day

I know I say that every week, but

Zeemin's Teemins