Wear that grin between grease-soaked lips and chew the curds of delights digested. Let the bolus yon esophagus squelches die within ye, turn to dribbling juices and bubbles of harsh swampen gases. We are bodies, hosts of parasites, tombs of delivery morsels, avatars of corporate wisdom. Listen closely to Reverend Holden, mm hmm. Follow his words, and pick a brand with consideration; it may be the only brand you’ll pick again.

Guest Preacher: Reverend Holden McNeely (Wizard and the Bruiser podcast, holdenatorsho on Twitch)

Invocation

Psalm: “Pizza Party Ire”

Liturgical Reading: “When Dominoes Pizza Let a Teen Die”

Concluding Prayer

Guess it should be said that all characters and events in this story, even the ones based on real breathing gooey companies, are fictional. Though, c’mon, it’s probably not that fictional, right? Maybe a grease of truth dripped somewhere within? Hey. Don’t sue.