Leading Hope with Kevin Jack

241: Co-Dependent Leadership


Listen Later

Episode 241
Also Available On:Co-Dependent LeadershipAugust 7Leader NotesCo-Dependent Definition: Emotional or psychological reliance on a partner.
  • Tendency of leaders to set-up their leadership as co-dependent.
    • Small Ways: Can’t make a decision because the Boss it out of town.
    • Big Ways: “We left the Church because the pastor left, it’s just what you do”
    • Issue: The test of great leadership is what happens when you’re absent.
      Why Do We Do That?
      • Kindest Way: We don’t even realize we’re doing it and we don’t know how not to.
        • Where tools like vision, values, systems come into play when they’re being used to empower, not create bureaucracy.
        • Realest Way: We feel like imposters, we’re not secure in our role, we want to feel needed.
          • Acknowledge that it feels good to need your opinion to make a decision.
          • Acknowledge that it feels good for people to leave because you’re no longer there because it’s not the same.
          • Point
            • We want to feel wanted.
            • When a leader leads to feel wanted, they become needed, and create co-dependency.
              Co-Dependent Leadership
              The Impact of Co-Dependent Leadership
              1. Hurts longevity. No momentum beyond current tenure.
              2. Cripples Development. Think of like a parent who needs to be needed by their kids. The result is the kids never become adults. Here: The followers never become leaders in their own right.
                Antidote
                • You antidote to co-dependent leadership is security.
                • Security is built on:
                  • Awareness of Gifting.
                    • Don’t need validation of your competency.
                    • Security is built on testing and trial, not just affirmation.
                    • Amateurs want to know they did well, professionals want to know how they can get better. Donald Miller.
                    • Commitment to Calling, not assignment.
                      • Security will never exist if all you have is a job.
                      • What I do supercedes the person I’m doing it with’s opinion of me.
                      • Effectiveness that is built on your willingness to adapt.
                        • Key is listening and adapting.
                        • People will tell you how to lead them, not because it’s a perfect match.
                          Conclusion
                          • The danger of co-dependent leadership.
                          • Cultivate Security.
                            Share This Podcast!
                            Never Miss A Thing!

                            ...more
                            View all episodesView all episodes
                            Download on the App Store

                            Leading Hope with Kevin JackBy Leading Hope with Kevin Jack

                            • 5
                            • 5
                            • 5
                            • 5
                            • 5

                            5

                            68 ratings