Adam's boing needs viagra, teenagers watch house hunters, we have a Pointer Sisters moment which segues into a depressing sidebar about the expansion of the Universe, Bella is really dumb in the book, Adam keeps trying to make "broi" happen, Mickey Mouse voice man is more tenacious than Adam, no one wants to see Adam's Yard-O-Beef, we share what to do when a homeless man gives you dumpster ham.

Kitten rescue can be a really dirty fiasco, Leslie got some life points, Bella's hair in the movie is very unrealistic, Adam really loves this scene, Jacob's appearance is kind of lame, we can't remember a word, Leslie picked which blood she took, the Forks High School prom decor is impressive, Adam romansplains the crap out of this scene, and watching a movie with Leslie's mom is an adventure.