To begin this week's Ketchup, a ball-dropping of epic proportions. Only we could go several weeks ignoring the biggest two bizarre news stories in the world: the left and the right one.

With that podcasting crime rectified, we then move on to furry litter boxes, hot (and strong) youth pastors, Spanish bishops-turned-pig-masturbators, a HORRIFYING layering of contact lenses, emotional support alligators, and so much more!

Fun Fact: "Interior Crocodile Alligator" has an actual place of origin, and it's this song. It's a FREESTYLE. The line came from A GOD DANG FREESTYLE! My life has CHANGED FOREVER. 

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HOW DID WE MISS THE BIG TIDDY SHOP TEACHER

SCOTTISH DOG SUICIDE BRIDGE

Do you <3 hot youth pastors?

THE FAT BEAR CONTEST WAS RIGGED

LITTER BOXES FOR THE FURRIES

Personal lubricant made from cow mucus may protect against HIV

Spanish bishop who quit clergy to be with sexologist lover finds new job exporting pig semen

Man plays his saxophone through 9-hour, "very, very complex" brain surgery to remove tumor

Oil protesters arrested after throwing tomato soup at Van Gogh painting

Doctor removes 23 contact lenses from eye of patient who 'forgot to take them out for almost a month'

Calls to feed contraceptive pills to aggressive seagulls are flawed, says BirdWatch Ireland

Pennsylvania man's alligator becomes emotional support animal

Man, high on magic mushrooms, causes chaos on flight from Miami