[Intro] I will be honest: I think my Chinese sucks. I used to live in China from age five to eight in Guangzhou and Beijing. My biological mom went to college in China, so I lived with her in Guangzhou for two years and Beijing for one. My Chinese is like a child's ability because I knew Chinese when I was a child. It sounds like a five-to-eight-year-old's Chinese, or worse: a four-to-five-year-old's Chinese. I forgot a lot because no one in my family speaks it. My mom did, but I have not talked to her in eight years. My dad cannot speak it, my stepmom cannot speak it, and neither can my grandparents. I used to have a Chinese teacher back in Alabama, which is where I used to live; she would come every Sunday and I would speak only in Chinese. She was not really a teacher since she was not actually teaching me, but more of a person whom I'd ask questions if I struggled and whom I'd have conversations with. Also, the place I was living in Alabama did not have a big Chinese population, which I realized after I moved and I am now living somewhere I have a lot of Chinese friends. Actually, wait...there were Chinese people at my old place, but most could not speak Chinese because their parents did not teach them. So in this place, I ask a lot of Chinese friends whether they can speak Chinese or not, and they either say yes or no, but mostly yes. A lot of them thought it was...different?  They now know why I can speak Chinese, but the first time I asked, they said, "Yes? But how can you?" So I'd tell them I'm Korean but I used to live in China and blah blah blah. (Basically everything I just covered.) My friends say my Chinese is pretty good? So if I were to compare myself to a Chinese person, obviously I'm horrible because I sound like a child. However, compared to someone who doesn't know anything, it's okay. It's not too good because I can understand most basics but not many hard things.

I currently feel very uncomfortable because I have not spoken this much Chinese, especially since I have not had anyone to speak this much Chinese with. I am also speaking Chinese into a computer, which is strange. I honestly do not know what to say.  Obviously my Chinese is bad because I never use it, especially since I feel like my Korean is fine because I can say more. Chinese is mostly me explaining, "Hi, my name is ___. I cannot speak Chinese very well...very basic, where am I from, why can I speak Chinese...," like those are all similar. If I were to say things I like or things I remember or words for house appliances, I cannot say those. Those words are hard.

If someone were to ask me which is harder: English or Chinese? I would say Chinese because I've been talking in English for a while. Then again. knowing Korean before Chinese made things easier, but compared to English, it was hard. I don't know though, I can't tell you why. I obviously don't know what language you as the listener speak. If you mainly speak English, then you would say Chinese is hard; if you're Chinese, you'd say English is hard. (Am I even saying the Chinese word for language? I've forgotten so much.) I can say basic favorites, like favorite color (*starts listing colors*) I can say my favorite color is yellow (Wow, I also forgot a lot of colors...) or blue...yes. My favorite animal is either a cat or a panda; I just like cats. I know a cat and a panda are different, but pronunciation-wise they sound similar LOL.

I feel like many Chinese people are going to be like, "This little kid can't even speak Chinese properly...why are they trying to speak it?" I am attempting to speak for twenty...wait...fifteen minutes but adkjflsdk I'm uncomfortable. [Closure]