In this episode, we address Trump Victory. We dive into the real questions: Is Halloween even Halloween anymore? With the trick-or-treat scene looking more like a police drill than the free-for-all we grew up with, we’re wondering, are we all just getting too damn paranoid, or have times actually changed? From neighborhood lockdowns to the new “if it’s not decorated, don’t knock” rule, it’s no wonder we’re worried Halloween’s on its last legs. And don’t get us started on the Fourth of July—where are all the blown-off fingers?! We need to bring back the traditions we love, so maybe we should skip the politics and get real about saving American culture. But, hey, we know, it’s not all serious—expect a little love for our usual suspects: the “blue hairs” and the latest political memes to keep it spicy.

Buckle up for a wild ride through our hot takes on all things “basic”—from Californians with posh accents to the overuse of “like.” We dive into why some holidays need to be canceled (looking at you, Valentine’s Day) and tackle the awkward realities of gift-giving for Father’s Day. The gloves really come off when we chat about the importance of tattoos and whether getting your ex’s name inked is ever a good idea (spoiler: it’s not). Then, things heat up with a wishlist for a Trump-led Christmas featuring mandatory discounts on PS5s and a multi-cultural Santa lineup. Tune in for laughs, cringe moments, and spicy opinions on the holiday-industrial complex.