Good Enough Day with Ray

27. Fixing Yourself for Others: The Dark Side of Self-Improvement


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In this episode, I talk about how self-improvement can sometimes be unhealthy for those who struggle with codependency, like myself. Instead of fostering genuine growth, it often becomes a way to seek validation, fix others’ happiness, and avoid rejection.


I share how this mindset led me to ignore my own needs, take on too much responsibility, and fuel a harsh inner critic. Through therapy, I’ve realized that trying to "fix" myself to control everything around me only reinforces unhealthy patterns.


I hope this episode encourages you to recognize that while self-improvement is valuable, it’s important to set boundaries and remember that not everything is yours to fix.

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Good Enough Day with RayBy RayLynn Klugh

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