We snuck in the baseball math right up top -- 60 games shortened season x 2.7 = 162 game regular season. But with the Marlins COVID-19 outbreak, will we get past the first week?

MLB’s health protocols start to fall apart as active players, initially Juan Soto of the Nationals and Matt Davidson of the Reds, and now a huge swath of the Miami Marlins, test positive smack in the middle of playing games against other teams, on the road and at home. And still the games continue. This, after a second week of very low numbers of positive tests.  Makes you rethink that bubble, doesn’t it?

Opening weekend is full of Black Lives Matter and “unity” symbols and ceremonies, many Player Alliance and individual player-led, but what matters is what comes next. Let’s not get stuck in the keeping score stage, of who is wearing the shirts and who is kneeling and who is not. Patti is the first to drop an f-bomb because her nemesis Kyle Schwarber chose to wear a Chicago Police Department cap with his BLM shirt and boy does she feel vindicated for years of holding a Joe Buck-fueled grudge. Patti and the Pottymouth engage in a civil disagreement over MLB’s statement that supporting human rights is not political. The Blue Jays Anthony Alford speaks meaningfully from his place of “uniform” privilege. 

We spend a moment on opening weekend game-related highlights and weirdlights including Adam DuVall homering off of Jeff McNeil’s dog (cutout), Daniel Bard’s first MLB win after 2,646 days, ESPN making Patti dislike Buck and Smoltz less, runner on 2B rule, and what number is Eovaldi, anyway? There are baby steps in the world of racist team names. The Grooming segment is back. We bring you facial hair situations with Kimbrell and Kiké, flow with Gingergard Dustin May, and shoe game with Michael Lorenzen. 

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