Three Bean Salad

By Three Bean Salad

What's Three Bean Salad about?

A podcast from comedians Mike Wozniak, Henry Paker and Benjamin Partridge. Each week the three beans tackle a different theme, suggested by the listening audience.

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Three Bean Salad episodes:

05.01.2024
Non-episode caretaker abeyance-isode
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until June).Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.
04.24.2024
Farming
This week the beans doff their Harris Tweed flap caps to Chrissie of Bremen whose topic suggestion of farming has slipped out of the bean machine’s birth canal, glistening with the lukewarm goo of banter before landing softly on the...
04.17.2024
Wine
The Industrial Revolution, the assassination of Julius Caesar, the debut performance of “Wang Dang Doodle” by Howlin’ Wolf, the wedding of Jérôme d'Ambrosio and Eleonore von Habsburg, The Black Death. What do these things have in common? All of them...
04.10.2024
Olives
Trigger warning for any misophonia sufferers this episode (although Henry probably weeded these people out long ago). Olives is this week’s topic with thanks to Lewis of Lewisham. Obviously no one really understands what an olive is so it’s a...
04.03.2024
Cloche Bleue
Cloche Bleue: noun 1) Term used to denote a blue bell or a cat named Bluebell by a French speaker or by members of London’s metropolitan elite 2) archaic Obsolete Royal Naval punishment also known as the “Arctic Arse Spinnaker” 3) A...
03.27.2024
The Beach
Matt from Newcastle gets the beans chatting about the beach this week. Sure they cover the hits (your shingle, your windbreaks, your snorkels and so on) but they also cast a bean smeared lens over the behavioural psychology, the paleoanthropology...
03.20.2024
Tough Guys
This weeks topic is tough guys and that’s thanks to Joe from Bremen in the Cotswolds who clearly understands what this podcast is actually about. Naturally the beans thrive in this chatosphere. After all, one of them has at least...
03.13.2024
Ghosts
Isaac of Bremen recommends the beans set banter to spooky and discuss ghosts this week. As you’d imagine they put what has long been a contentious subject to bed once and for all and they’re very brave about it at...
03.06.2024
Stonehenge
Did the druidic architecture firm that designed Stonehenge make their pitch with a scale model made of beans? Were the stones moved halfway across Britain by crabs? (NB on a map the direction of travel is sideways!) Was Stonehenge the...
02.07.2024
Interim non-episode anti-episode-isode
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until March).Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.
01.31.2024
Fifth Wednesday Warning Broadcast
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday January and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month on the basis of cosmic health and safety)Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.
01.24.2024
Circus
For the last episode of the season place your head in the jaws of podcasting and let its lukewarm slobber cascade into your ears because the theme, with thanks to Stephen of Ireland, is the circus. The beans will be...
01.17.2024
James Bond
“Frankly, 007, I don’t give a damn!” That’s right, this week’s topic, courtesy of Diogo of Lisbon, is James Bond. We’ve all seen the movies, sure. But has the world actually taken the time to just stop for a second...
01.10.2024
Castles
Holly of Portsmouth blesses the beans with the ancient chat topic of castles for this week’s episode. They get close harmony groups and genetically engineered toads out of the way in short order and before you know it are on...
01.03.2024
Architecture
Ali requests that the Beans explore the topic of architecture and they do their best to take the roof off, knock through the kitchen and dining room to create a greater sense of space, and install a cantilevered lukewarm sauna....
12.27.2023
Fairytales
Emma has the beans discuss fairy tales for the last episode of 2023. It’s nasty business on the whole as anyone who has actually read an original fairy tale or had a fairy tale based upon their own life experiences...
12.20.2023
Cruises
It’s only a matter of time before the beans’ merch empire knocks the competition into a cocked hat with the launch of Beantopia: Three Bean Salad’s very own maxi cruise ship experience. Prebook for the maiden voyage of the as-yet...
12.13.2023
Disguises
Hats off to Ross of Vancouver and then immediately put a different hat on along with a rubber nose and a set of matching eyebrow wigs because Ross has got the beans wagging their false chins about disguises this week....
12.06.2023
Assassinations
The beans are back! A bumper episode to kick off the new series. Lots to cover. And Samuel steers the beans towards the topic of assassinations which absolutely classic Samuel frankly. Knuckle down and let’s get through this together people.Join...
11.01.2023
Non-episode-isode-isode
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until December).Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.
10.25.2023
Surfin'
To round off series whatever it is Isabella feeds surfin' into the bean machine in the hope of crystal clear, effluent-free lukewarm banter. Will the beans turtle roll some ankle slappers? Or will they hang ten on a shubie’s mushburger?...
10.18.2023
The Trojan War
Definitely a cursed episode this one. No one’s fault. Worth knowing going in though. If you’re brave enough to take the plunge you’ll discover that Rowan had the beans grapple with the Trojan War and you’ll probably say to yourself...
10.11.2023
The Higgs Boson/Particles
Muriel from Illinois has the beans discuss The Higgs Boson/Particles this week. Listeners might be concerned the beans are entering knowledge-gap territory here but it turns out between them they average 2 ⅔ science GCSEs a piece*.*grades attained unavailable and...
10.03.2023
Fashion
Thank goodness one of the beans is a jewel-encrusted member of London’s glitterati because this week’s topic, thanks to Catherine of Bremen, is fashion. What do your chinos say about you? What do you say about your chinos? And what...
09.27.2023
Elvis
It’s widely accepted that if Elvis Presley were alive today he would have made a really decent podcaster. Where better then to discuss his life and legacy than on a podcast which, at the time of writing, is ranked as...
09.20.2023
Orange
The topic of orange is wmg’s gift to the beans this week and you can bet your bottom dollar the beans don’t just squeeze every last drop of chat juice out of it. No siree! They candy the peel, compost...
09.13.2023
Pencils
Popo (THE Popo?????) decides the beans ought to discuss pencils this week. Henry manages to crowbar in Andie MacDowell (surprise, surprise), congressional hearings get a mention as do several Roberts and Benjamin shares a top tip for increasing your household...
09.06.2023
Beer
The beans are back and Sean of Exeter has given them the topic of beer, the cheeky old rascal!!!!! As luck would have it the beans just so happen to know one end of a pint from the other cor...
08.01.2023
Non-episode-isode
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September).Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.Tickets to stream our upcoming live shows:Saturday 16th Sept, 7pm: https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29411/29415Sunday 17th Sept, 2pm https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29666/29667Sunday 17th Sept, 4.30pm https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29412/29416
07.26.2023
Oats
It’s the last episode of the season so thank goodness Gavin (of Bremen most likely) furnished the beans with the humdinger zeitgiest chat-nip topic that is…oats! The beans lurch from the grain-of-now to trouser physics and back again all for...
07.18.2023
Urban Legends
The beans have to get to grips with urban legends this week thanks to Tabby from Edinburgh. But before that Henry tells an anecdote so long that it begins to develop its own atmosphere and gravity. Finally they get stuck...
07.12.2023
Whales
Ben from Cardiff (WE KNOW RIGHT???!!!) submits the topic of whales and the Beans waste no time getting into some radical new theories of aquatic taxonomy and evolution. If you’re wondering whether or not they’re qualified to handle that stuff...
07.05.2023
Cults
Megan from Bremen sends beans a-yappin’ about cults this week. It proves to be an episode packed with jaw-dropping revelations, not least of which is Henry’s confession to a major personal creed-shift.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly...
06.28.2023
Time Travel
How did scientists explain theories of time travel to laypeople before the invention of paper napkins? This is just one of the many questions surrounding this week’s topic of time travel (courtesy of Ben of Horsham) that the Beans simply...
06.21.2023
Volcanoes
It takes every ounce of the beans’ strength to keep the banter lukewarm this week as they take on Phil of Baltimore’s inherently hot topic of volcanoes during the most violent heat wave the British Isles have ever seen. Does...
06.14.2023
Tea
To Ben’s horror, the theme this week, thanks to Dedan-Jah Jonker the rheumatic Dutchman, is his bête noire: tea. To make things worse for poor, sweet, bean-machine laden Ben, this episode also finds him forced to confront his most recent...
06.07.2023
Fire
Hazel of Bremen throws lukewarm caution to the wind and has the beans discuss FIRE! Some sage words on friendship (and eyebrow) management are included and it will come as no surprise that Henry’s employment history is once more in...
05.03.2023
Not an episode non-episode episode
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until June).Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.
04.25.2023
The Essence Of Fear
Without a care in the world, Zachary of Bremen tosses the spine-chilling topic of “The Essence of Fear” into the bean machine quiver and expects the beans to just deal with it once it’s fired out. Of course - they...
04.19.2023
Teachers
This week the Bean Machine, having been pre-loaded by Luke (of Bremen?), spits out the topic of teachers. It’s time for the beans to think about how many Alsatians is too many Alsatians. Also the dear listeners are called upon...
04.12.2023
Dentists
This week’s topic comes from none other than Phillip Kerrigan of Kerrigan’s mustard. His choice: dentists. It’s a thorny one, sure, but that doesn’t put off the beans. They chat hard and true and, arguably at the top of their...
04.05.2023
TV Crime Shows
Neil (presumably of Bremen) offers up the topic of TV crime shows. At least one of the beans is like a pig in the proverbial with such a fearsomely strong topic but nevertheless the beans do make time to touch...
03.29.2023
Fifth Wednesday Calendar Abberation Broadcast
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday March and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month on the basis of human rights, the will of the moon and natural justice)
03.22.2023
Pirates
Sarah of Bremen pressgangs the beans into chatting all things pirates this week. With a fair wind at the stern they sail through the alphabet and the landlocked city of Nottingham and have time to spare to drop the chat...
03.15.2023
Ice Cream
Gemma in Bromley has the beans wrap their chops around ice-cream this week and by gum are the beans happy about it. This may be the most on-topic episode of the podcast so far although there is time to squeeze...
03.08.2023
The Arctic
This week your old friend Neil (of Bremen) sends the bean chat to the magisterial tundra of the Arctic. Nozzles, aisle seats and the future of powder all come into play. Also this is a tremendous episode for anyone hoping...
03.01.2023
Zeppelins
Michael of Bremen gets the chat ball rolling in this brand new series by suggesting this week’s topic of zeppelins. Mechanised frogs, hamperisation and of course buououououoys all play a vital part. Also the beans thwart a possible attempt at...
02.15.2023
Best Of Series Three
Take yourself back to December 2021/January 2022 and enjoy this compilation of highlights from our third series. From coffee shop toilets to a terrible banana.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:[email protected]@beansaladpod
02.01.2023
Snappy Little Non-Episode Announcement
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until March) but if you want extra bonus episodes you can sign up at our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad
01.25.2023
Avatar 2: The Way Of Water
What’s that? A crossover ep? Has the world turned upside down? No. Behold! What lies in store is an exclusive, once in a lifetime piece of podcasting as Three Bean Salad get sent their topic of the week by none...

What's Three Bean Salad about?

Download our free app to listen on your phone

Three Bean Salad episodes:

Non-episode caretaker abeyance-isode

Farming

Wine

Olives

Cloche Bleue

The Beach

Tough Guys

Ghosts

Stonehenge

Interim non-episode anti-episode-isode

Fifth Wednesday Warning Broadcast

Circus

James Bond

Castles

Architecture

Fairytales

Cruises

Disguises

Assassinations

Non-episode-isode-isode

Surfin'

The Trojan War

The Higgs Boson/Particles

Fashion

Elvis

Orange

Pencils

Beer

Non-episode-isode

Oats

Urban Legends

Whales

Cults

Time Travel

Volcanoes

Tea

Fire

Not an episode non-episode episode

The Essence Of Fear

Teachers

Dentists

TV Crime Shows

Fifth Wednesday Calendar Abberation Broadcast

Pirates

Ice Cream

The Arctic

Zeppelins

Best Of Series Three

Snappy Little Non-Episode Announcement

Avatar 2: The Way Of Water

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