Three Bean Salad

It's Novembermania! We're offering 50% off your first month over on Patreon - www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

To give you a taste of what lies beyond the paywall, this episode is the first half of our October 2026 Extra Beans episode - extra bits from our recordings about cowboys and trees.

What is real? Keanu Reeves? And if Keanu Reeves is real can we prove it or is this something we simply have to take on faith? Robert of Bremen has, presumably, been wrestling with these very questions and rather than trying to geo-locate Keanu Reeves and obtain samples from him for laboratory assessment he has instead, very sensibly, entered “The Simulation Hypothesis” into the Bean Machine and let the lukewarm banter take its course.

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This week’s topic is wool aka nature’s denim. Wool is a material that has been worn by princes, paupers and everyone in between for thousands if not millions of years. In fact, the wearing of woollen garments is one of the few things which sets us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom (other examples include close-up magic and humming. For a full list see the Three Beancyclopaedia). Thanks then to Russell of Nova Scotia for shoving wool into the Bean Machine.

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Which tree are you? The graceful and ethereal silver birch? The proud and stately elm? The feeble and foul-smelling Bradford pear tree? Click HERE to find out with our online quiz and to receive lifelong, military-grade, North Korean malware! Thank you to Eleanor of Bristol for this week’s topic (trees).

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In many ways podcasters are the cowboys of today (excepting the actual cowboys of today of course) but instead of horses we ride ergonomic chairs, instead of slinging guns we sling mouths and our bullets - lukewarm banter. Thanks to Will of no location given for this week’s topic.

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No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday September and we only do four episodes a month because of the podcasters' union)

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Soup of the day is lukewarm banter! That’s right, Max of Bremen has poured soup into the bean machine. Rest assured the beans shall treat this week’s liquid topic as scrupulously they would any solid one.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

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We are not the only species that dances but we are the only one that has Dancercise. With that in mind, perhaps it is worth reflecting on the often misquoted words of 17th century poet and scholar John Donne: “Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in Dancercise. Therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.” Thanks for Sandor of the other side of wherever for this week’s topic.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

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Taxi drivers in the UK are exempt from having to wear seatbelts so that their passengers have one less thing to strangle them with mid-journey - a sobering little fact and one which perhaps illustrates the nature of the relationship between cabbies and their fares through the ages. Thanks to Phil of Utrecht for suggesting taxis as this week’s topic for the podcast (which has always been and remains steadfastly anti-strangle).

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Goodbye to the Hyundai video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7vC6zxNKBI

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

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It is known that EVERY event is better when punctuated by songs (hence hymns, national anthems, Auld Lang Syne etc). It stands to reason therefore that the musical is the apogee of human endeavour. Can you imagine then the excitement of the beans when this week’s topic was barfed out of The Bean Machine and musicals is what it turned out to be???!!!! Thanks to Sophie of somewhere probably for this perfectly judged suggestion.

Tickets for Henry's tour: henrypaker.com

Tickets for Mike's tour: mrmikewozniak.com

Tickets for Beef And Dairy Network at the London Podcast Festival

IN HALL: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/podcast/beef-and-dairy-network-podcast-5/

STREAMING: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/podcast/beef-and-dairy-network-podcast-online/

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com

Get in touch: [email protected] Insta: threebeansaladpod