Elis James and John Robins on Radio X Podcast

This episode includes discussion of sensitive topics, including addiction and alcoholism, that some listeners may find distressing. Please take care while listening, and feel free to pause or step away if you need to.

John Robins has spent much of his life making people laugh. But behind the award-winning stand-up, broadcasting and podcasts was a relationship with alcohol that he spent years trying to understand, manage and ultimately escape.

In this episode of Full Disclosure, James O’Brien sits down with John to trace the experiences that shaped him, from a childhood marked by anxiety and an intensely religious father to Oxford, gambling and the discovery of stand-up. John reflects on growing up with a sense that something wasn’t quite right, learning to use humour as both attack and defence, and becoming fascinated by alcohol long before he understood what it offered him.

He talks candidly about the progression of his drinking and the years he spent trying to control it: counting drinks, crossing days off calendars and comparing himself with people who seemed to drink more. Looking back, John describes alcohol not as the problem but as his solution to something deeper - a way to quieten his mind, relieve discomfort and, at times, disappear completely.

John also recalls the night in 2022 when, exhausted by years of fighting his drinking, he searched the word “sober” in a podcast app. Hearing two recovering alcoholics speak with calmness, warmth and humour gave him a glimpse of another way to live. He went to his first AA meeting the following day and hasn’t had a drink since.

Now, John reflects on the strange and painful process of learning how to live without alcohol, from relationships and work to simply being alone with his own thoughts. He talks about therapy, recovery, meditation and spirituality, and why accepting the things he cannot control has begun to make life feel a little less complicated.

It’s a funny, thoughtful and strikingly open conversation about addiction, anxiety, childhood, shame and recovery - and about what happens when the thing you’ve relied on to escape yourself is no longer there.

Find out more about Thirst by John Robins here

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If you've been affected by anything you've heard in this episode, please take a moment to read the resources listed: We Are With You, Change Grow Live, Turning Point

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