In a life full of achievements John may have finally topped the lot. In his 5 year battle with the word game that most people stopped playing a few years ago, John has finally come out victorious. Yes, he’s Wordled in one. It’s a big day. But the main question is, did it make him happy?

There’s another chapter of Elis and John’s Road To Nowhere, in which the boys are forced to think on their feet and attempt to avert disaster. The quick thinking of one of them saves the day, while Dave goes on his phone.

Then it’s a classic case of a haiku-based Made Up Game and the potential unearthing of an exciting new voice in the haiku arena; watch this space!

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473 episodes in and there is still room to excavate the vast intricacies that make up the Pompeii dig of John Robins’ mind. Grab your JCB because there’s a dump truck’s worth to uncover off the back of the latest adventures from the Sad Van. And it all boils down to one thing, as the hotels John’s willing to stay in simply say so much about the man.

A generic hotel brand is the vessel through which we can get to know him.

Does John actually like the things that he likes? Is he a star player who performs badly if he’s pampered? Is it all about fantasy, reality, expectation and fulfillment? Is he a “lunatic” for positing made up things that could go wrong for more money? Does John want character in his life? Is shampoo being separated from shower gel too much of a luxury?

And to answer all these questions we need the assistance of James Acaster, one of the More Money Than Sense Boys.

Plus there’s romantic tests and more evisceration of Dave’s Parachutes vinyl.

Move over Oxford Union, debating has a new home! As Elis and John towers has turned into a hotbed of discourse and deliberation. The big topics are given the respect they deserve and the order of service for today is as follows: What’s the saddest song ever written? Hotels: budget or bespoke? And finally, are baths rubbish?

Aside from heated arguments about the temperature of bath water, Elis and John continue their travels around the UK, this time attempting to spot some rare geese.

John tells a tale of coming perilously close to soiling one of the nation’s royal parks, there’s a self referential game to test the boys’ knowledge of themselves, and a Shame Well-er gets overly friendly with her boyfriend’s colleagues.

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What starts off as a huge day for John (book deadline day) turns into a massive (massive it is) day for poor old Dave.

As the saying goes: ‘The best laid plans of podcast producers often go awry’, and Dave’s idea for the team to record remotely gets derailed quite spectacularly by a faulty alarm system. Brace yourselves for the most stressed you will probably ever hear one of the UK’s most unflappable men.

Back to John, and he tells us early on that he’s feeling ‘absolutely dreadful’. Book deadline day is taking its toll, but luckily a text from Elis’s brother-in-law lifts his spirits, as does the arrival of a record in the post for poor old stressed Dave.

There’s the start of a podcast feud with No Such Thing As A Fish, chat about successfully bartering with a supermarket, and the introduction of a new jingle that wouldn’t be out of place on Lou Reed’s Transformer.

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The boys have been busy bees recently and the show’s in danger of turning into a Michael Palin travelogue. Elis has returned from France and regales us with stories of visits to ex-military factories, intense chats with German families and Isy’s attempts at speaking French.

Then it’s time for the first instalment of Elis and John’s Road to Nowhere, where your favourite podcast hosts drive around the country for no apparent reason other than to visit their valued family members. They’ve clipped on their mics (much to Elis’s embarrassment) and invited us onto the tour bus. Expect travel-based badinage and a whole lot of service station chat. Radio 4, are you listening?

Back in the studio and on bum-based terra firma, Elis has gone up a pant size because of his ever-growing behind, whereas John’s seems to be ageing beyond his years.

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The boys are fresh from driving around the country for charity with Ian Botham, which of course means Elis is exhausted and tour newbie Dave is absolutely fine.

And there’s more bad news for Mr James as the Elis vote is being split in the Listeners’ Choice vote at the British Podcast Awards. He’s going to get pilloried by one co-host or maybe both. But given that John is more likely to lacerate Elis than Bubbins, place your vote in this stable. Find it online somewhere.

And there’s also some Mad Dads to dig into and could John step into a Bragg-shaped hole to front Radio 4’s most influential discussion show?

Remember, there’s bonus Saturday content *only* on your friend and mine BBC Sounds.

Got something to say? Well head this way…

The ripples of last week’s Elis James mega-rant are still being felt right across the BBC, and despite vowing to ignore the call to pen John’s obituary, Elis has rowed back and done just that. Brace yourself for some emotional heft and candid commentary on John’s propensity for darts at university.

But John’s made of sterner stuff these days and recovered to reveal the sighting of a certain car has left him shocked to his very core. Elis and Dave, on the other hand, don’t seem that bothered…

Elsewhere there’s some classic ‘what would you do with loads of money’ chat that somehow leads to a conversation about Liam Gallagher’s coat collection, and a geography-based Made Up Game hits the mark with very little knowledge needed of the Falkland / Faroe Islands.

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There’s a surprise in the offing for John. Not that that’s a surprise to him. Nothing gets past old Sherlock Robins. Especially Producer Dave positioning a phone on a table at a very slight angle.

But said surprise leads to some incredible finds about Johnny JR which leave Elis and Dave’s jaws on the floor. This was not what had been intended. Elsewhere John has an out of body experience reflecting on the fact that there’s an entire segment on the show dedicated to his personal wins.

Plus, John enjoys an email that could not have been more in his wheelhouse if it tried. For anyone else it would have been useless and just tossed on the Wasteland.

The email: [email protected]

Today’s episode is filled with the big questions of our age. These are the things that government top brass are pouring over day in, day out: Is Martin Lewis up there with Galileo and Mozart? Can you put goodwill on your shelf? And most divisively, is wee ever fine in a paddling pool?

It’s a show that asks questions rather than answers them, and you the you the listener are left to make up your own minds on these contentious issues.

What we can guarantee, however, is wall-to-wall Elis and John certified bangers: top-tier anecdotes, a classic Cymru Connection, a wonderfully chaotic Made Up Game, and a toe-curling Oasis-based shame to round things off. Sit back and enjoy the Elis and John vibes in your area.

You can get involved with this crazy old thing we call the Elis and John show by emailing [email protected], or WhatsApping 07974 293 022.

Elis made a bad decision the other day. And if you had a million guesses as to what that decision was then you won’t even get close, even when given the clue "Welsh culture". He's insistent it isn’t the outcome he wanted but John and Dave aren’t sure they believe him.

Quite frankly it’s one of the most baffling conversations ever had on this show.

Aside from regrettable choices there’s a potassium-rich Mad Dad that breaks new money making ground, Scatman John gets an unexpected amount of airtime, and Elis does a surprisingly good impression of a history teacher.

Remember to seek out some bonus content in the form of Saturday’s Bureau de Change of the Mind. That’s only available on your friend and mine BBC Sounds.

And if you want to get in contact with thoughts on anything other than the first ten minutes of this episode then it’s [email protected] or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.