Deep in the forests of Bavaria lurks an evil presence that feeds on innocent children by luring them in with the promise of gingerbread and candy. This is not that story. It is really something quite different.

This is the story of Wolfsegg Castle. Come for the ghosts, stay for the sexual potency of the Hammermuehle in Heitzenhofen, Patrick's secret for pronouncing German names, people in the 16th century hanging on by a thread, a Google maps exploration of the German hellmouth, and the good, sexy ghosts of PornHub-dot-com.