This isn't funny anymore

Everything is Skrillex

And nothing is Skrillex

Everything is asinine

And no one is Sonny

Extraordinary sightseeing

Nothing is normal

Everywhere to escape to

With a guilty conscience

Bad credit karma

Bad regrets and sad faces

Always falling in love with our opposites

More of the bad things,

Less in good graces

Everyone's a DJ

I'm just a blind space kid

A recruit wishing to be a cadet

A teenager in the basement with a

Two Tom drum set

And no kickdrum

Caught inside a snare pattern

Lips stitched together like a scarescrow

Or a raggedy Annie

Caught in a psychic state of trance

Look, I don't give a fuck. Or a shit. Or a Goddamn what really happens next. I live in a world where crop tops and a snatched waist, glamourous pictures and videos of anybody pretty doing anything gets attention; and not just attention--moneyary advantage. I'm fat, and black--i have to work 100 times as hard and be 1000 times as smart as anybody cute with a fucking camera phone and half a brain to get noticed. And why do I want to be noticed? Because I'm a prime example of what happens when NOBODY gives an actual shit about you your entire life, and all you exist for is to serve other people. I'm completely disposable, completely replaceable, and completely unrarkable in every single sense of those words, respectively, and--maybw not infinitely-- but I definitely in this lifetime. Have you been on the internet lately? Have you seen a music video? Watched any movies?

You show me ONE media phenomenon with a protagonist that looks like me--ONE representation of "my type"-- and I mean a positive representation; one that predictively programs individuals to think I might be worth something more than a laugh or eggaerated stereotype, before I open my mouth. Go ahead. I'll wait.

…

Right. Because--and it's not like you didn't know this--i live in hell. Maybe, I wasn't born in it--who really knows? But I've been here most my life, at least as far back as I can remember because hey; what's infantile amnesia, and why doesn't mine work like everybody else's? And oh, right--synestesia? Everybody has that, right? I guess so. And HEY, I might be the most disgusting individual in the world if I take off my clothes--but who doesn't love a rave right? A RAVE. WHICH, IF YOU HAVENT NOTICED IS NO LONGER JUST A DANCE PARTY, BUT A SEX-BASED FASHIONED SHOW, to which, I look ridiculous coming to, with my midriff out.

So, you want to be like everyone else?

No. I want to look like everyone else; so that it's actually noticable when I do something great, or hey, even if I do something mediocre, or senseless, people love it--cause hey, she's hot.

You just want to be hot?

Fuck yes I want to be hot.

That's it.

That's literally the entirety of meaning for a female in this, present day and age; and anyone who can try to argue against that is probably great looking. When you're hot, you don't have to do anything else; someone is always going to be wking--even begging-- or paying to do it for you. Intelligence at that point is just a bonus; anybody whose going to like you is going to like you no matter what you say or do; in fact you're more than likely to get away with doing dumb, senseless shit if you're doing it in a bikini--and anybody who doesn't like you is more than likely jealous--unless you're just a shitty person, which trust me, I get is the case for a lot of barbie dolls out there but; you can't be a fat, ugly, angry shitty person and get far in life--at some point you have to adjust your attitude for everyone not to hate you--the opposite stands for beautiful people. You can pretty much do anything, if you look good doing it.

So...you want to be a shitty person.

No. I'm already not. But I'd rather continue burning in hell "forever" than start over and be in the same predicament.

So?

So. I'm already in hell. I can't wear what I want. I can't date who I want. I can't listen to what I want. I have no friends. And nothing--nothing I do; no matter how much I pray, or meditate, or fast--nothing is going to take this body who nobody wants--and make it beautiful, except money. I will never have enough money, no matter how hard I work, to fix this--or any of the other fucked up shit in my life--

Not with that attitude!

THIS IS MY ATTITUDE AFTER TRYING. Its been 27 years of this shit. 27 years of being the last to be picked, 27 years of being the weakest link. And I'd literally rather die at this point than to keep moving forward in this monotony, thinking that just thinking is going to one day just cure my ADD. That it's going to make my mother believe in me. That it's going to suddenly just, up and fix my life in all the ways i--believe me--already tried to fi

If walls could talk,

They probably wouldn't still,

Just stand in shock and awe

And If I could, I wouldn't walk through walls at all,

Because I'd fall,

And if I had your number, I'd do anything but call,

I'd wait for you to, just assuming if you loved me

That we wouldn't even need a phone to talk,

No need to call, you're right beside me

Loving al the fatal flaws,

I try to hide,

But there's no hiding

When you really are in love

Between my thighs, a lie

A snakebite, scars I hate

So thanks,

I really haven't changed at all

This heart, as heavy as it's going to be

has everything i'll ever need,

So leave me, just leave quietly

I'm almost sleeping, almost dreaming

Almost leaving everything behind

But I'm reminded why

I wish the world was colorblind

And just the way that I can't like

What my eyes don't find to be

Aligned with what attractive means

Might be the way you think of me

Or anybody, really,

But i'm supposed to be this independent goddess

With the confidence of not a single molecule

The hottest, not by far, or even father

I just want to have a family,

I just want to raise a daughter

And another, and it's awful

Poverty is all but lost

And everybody thinks that everything's just supposed to be this

“Oh, that's just the way it is”,

But really they're just stuck on

What is “Stupid”?

Stupid means to just do everything

For nothing and if “unfair”

Means “I gpt iit from my”

Whatever inheritance is.

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

-U.