In this episode of Marriage Bites, Jess and Mike officially kick off “Kids Menu Month” with a creamy, chaotic plunge into Applebee’s Chicken Alfredo. But the pasta isn’t the only thing under review. Mike finally shares what it’s like post-vasectomy (yes, ball talk is back), while Jess explores her complicated relationship with dairy-based sauces. The couple debates the psychology of kids menus, dissects mozzarella stick texture with alarming precision, and finds emotional release in unexpected YouTube rabbit holes. Also: the jarred vodka sauce revelation that shook their marriage and why some fast food dining rooms feel like vampire lairs.