In this episode of Marriage Bites, Mike and Jess set out to review Wendy’s new tendies… and immediately get derailed by Tom Brady cloning his dog, whether Leon the outdoor trash cat should be immortal, and Jess’s Lean Cuisine childhood flashbacks that honestly feel like a whole therapy session.

Somewhere in the chaos, they actually review the food: overcooked but promising tendies, a baked potato that weighs roughly the size of a toddler, and a sundae that sends Mike into a memory spiral about the time his lips blew up from Thai chili sauce. Jess also reveals her extremely intense preferences about microwave popcorn, and Sonic’s whipped cream gets compared — favorably — to the Ritz-Carlton.

Mike also wants to know who’s listening. Seriously. If that’s you, email him at [email protected] so he can stop guessing.

Fast food review? Relationship study? Fever dream? Yes.

Marriage Bites: where love is real, tendies are crispy-ish, and nothing stays on topic.

In this episode of Marriage Bites, Mike and Jess set out to try Freddy’s, the burger chain that apparently has 600 locations yet feels like it only exists in this one New Jersey strip mall. Mike bravely takes the kids inside while Jess enjoys one precious, silent hour of being a human person, and what follows is a journey through mysterious kiosks, shoestring fries that somehow become emotional, and a number-calling system that briefly terrifies their son before becoming his personality.

There is also a very important marital moment where Jess uses the word “quiver,” and Mike spends a full sixty seconds trying to figure out if she meant it romantically or like… in a banana situation.

Fast food review? Relationship study? Light fever dream? Yes.

Marriage Bites: where love is real, fries are thin, and sometimes we quiver.

In this episode of Marriage Bites, Mike and Jess accidentally unlock the secret history of Qdoba, a restaurant chain that somehow still exists despite being remembered by absolutely no one. What starts as a simple “let’s try a new taco” adventure spirals into a full psychological study of burrito bowls, forgotten college-town food courts, and one employee who simply could not anymore. Along the way, they debate the correct orientation for toilet paper, rediscover their love for skee-ball, question whether rice belongs in tacos (it does not), and break down the cultural phenomenon of “brands we know less than nothing about.” It’s nostalgic, chaotic, and lightly covered in glitter from their daughter’s Halloween costume. Qdoba might have no marketing strategy, but Marriage Bites definitely does: pure, unfiltered marital mayhem served warm in a bread bowl.

In this episode of Marriage Bites, Mike and Jess go headfirst into Dave’s Hot Chicken and come out debating everything from Nashville spice levels to conjugal visit etiquette. What begins as a simple fast-food review turns into a fever dream of childhood pee stories, mouse infestations, and near-death experiences courtesy of the family Roomba. Jess unpacks her true-crime curiosity and sleep-cycle nightmares, while Mike questions the definition of a sandwich and whether “Dave’s Sauce” should really be called that. Between parenting panic attacks, ghost pepper ambitions, and surprise robot attacks, it’s pure Marriage Bites mayhem—extra hot, slightly unhinged, and fried to perfection.

In this episode of Marriage Bites, Mike and Jess time-travel straight back to Y2K with Taco Bell’s Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco. What starts as a simple nostalgia bite spirals into CD vs. iPod debates, Syracuse dorm “wack-off rooms,” VHS rewinding woes, and whether lettuce belongs anywhere near a hot taco. Jess relives her Pittsburgh Steelers glory days (terrible towel tucked in her jeans), while Mike confesses to both losing a prized coffee mug in traffic and once pooping his pants rather than miss Inspector Gadget. From Trader Joe’s dill pickle salad strategy to ground beef smuggling in childhood underwear, it’s peak Marriage Bites chaos—equal parts crunchy, soggy, and unforgettable.

In this episode of Marriage Bites, Jess and Mike wrap up Kids’ Menu Month with the ultimate classic: chicken fingers from Texas Roadhouse. Alongside the legendary sides (yes, they’re literally called “Legendary Sides”), the conversation veers into gum price shock, binge-watching How I Met Your Mother seven minutes at a time, and the great debate over kids’ meal value vs. fast food toys. Mike relives his record-breaking ingrown hair (complete with photo evidence), while Jess reveals her past life injecting mouse testicles under a microscope. Plus: Blippi's fitness journey, boy-band road trip playlists, and whether Mike should fear going bald—or Jess secretly prefers it.

In this episode of Marriage Bites, Jess and Mike chew through another course of Kids’ Menu Month—this time featuring Panda Express’s black pepper chicken, mystery meat textures, and suspiciously healthy greens. There’s also a mid-meal debate about drive-thru fries, the politics of toddler broccoli sharing, and why Jess would never bring fruit to the beach. Mike pitches Panda Express Month (he’s serious), while Jess dreams of 20 uninterrupted minutes with a book and zero sand. Plus: cold Diet Coke vs. beach lemonade, snack-based beach quizzes, and the story of the time Mike replaced a roommate’s chips with... more chips.

In this episode of Marriage Bites, Jess and Mike continue Kids’ Menu Month with a well-done dive into Outback’s Joey Sirloin—and Jess’s meat-related childhood trauma. Yes, we’re talking about the time she smuggled steak in her underwear to avoid eating it. Mike opens up about post-vasectomy ball health, curbside pickup philosophy, and misreading the word “Toyota.” The couple debates steak texture, nostalgic baked goods, and why rainbow cookies should never be dry. Also: surprise bread, broccoli betrayals, and how tofu and bacon ended up on the same breakfast sandwich.

In this episode of Marriage Bites, Jess and Mike officially kick off “Kids Menu Month” with a creamy, chaotic plunge into Applebee’s Chicken Alfredo. But the pasta isn’t the only thing under review. Mike finally shares what it’s like post-vasectomy (yes, ball talk is back), while Jess explores her complicated relationship with dairy-based sauces. The couple debates the psychology of kids menus, dissects mozzarella stick texture with alarming precision, and finds emotional release in unexpected YouTube rabbit holes. Also: the jarred vodka sauce revelation that shook their marriage and why some fast food dining rooms feel like vampire lairs.

Happy anniversary to us! In this episode of Marriage Bites, we celebrate 13 years of wedded bliss the only way we know how: with a spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy’s, way too many bathing suits, and one pending vasectomy. Jess and Mike catch up on a summer full of chaos, nostalgia, and carbs—including a surprisingly heartfelt drive-thru encounter, snack obsessions, and the ever-evolving saga of parenting two growing kids. Also: why fast food collabs are designed to go viral (not be good), how Slack became the third wheel in our marriage, and a PSA about Yeti lids.