All kinds of boats out there, with funny names, too. Brigantine. Schooner. Paddle. In a way, this here church is a boat, and each of you a mate upon its deck. Swab it, dear congregation, to earn your place in the captain’s chambers amidst the dribbling candles and ill-gotten liquors. Do not drink too much, for the captain is one of lechery, and our destination one of sin and tears.

Guest Preacher: Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, Page 7)

Invocation

Psalm: “Secrets to Sailors”

Liturgical Reading: “The Boat That Went To Hell”

Concluding Prayer

Yep yep we gobbled that story down like a pastry of vice n uh ohs. What sweet it hath delected upon us, we unfaithful masses, who stir with what the Story hath sired.