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28 | The Silent Drift: When You Start Withholding Sex, Affection, or Truth
Have you ever been in a relationship that looked great on the outside—but felt empty on the inside?
In this episode, Christina dives into the quiet emotional detachment that happens long before a breakup. She explores why people start withholding sex, affection, or even updates about their lives—not as a form of punishment, but as a protective response when emotional needs are repeatedly unmet.
Using Bravo stars Paige DeSorbo and Craig Conover as a timely pop culture case study, Christina breaks down how emotional withdrawal shows up in real life, why people stay in these situations longer than they should, and how your body often leaves a relationship before your voice ever does.
If you’ve been walking on emotional eggshells, this episode is a must-listen.
Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0
Let's connect:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast
Timestamps:
00:00 – Introduction to “The Silent Drift”
00:28 – Bravo reference: Paige DeSorbo and Craig Conover
00:55 – The drift begins with silence, not fights
01:31 – Withholding starts when safety is lost
02:27 – Withholding ≠ punishment; it’s a defense mechanism
03:05 – Core emotional needs and how they show up in relationships
03:56 – When needs stop being met and fantasy replaces connection
04:19 – Paige’s emotional withdrawal from Craig
05:16 – Christina’s personal story: success, guilt, and staying too long
06:02 – Your body leaves the relationship before your words do
06:39 – Manifesting the dream, but living in anxiety
06:58 – The external picture vs. the internal experience
07:14 – When the nervous system knows before the mind does
07:38 – A new season of life can reveal a partner’s true character
08:10 – Paige needed support, not projection
08:29 – External stress reveals cracks in emotional connection
08:44 – Signs of drifting: fantasizing about being alone
09:30 – Christina’s story: suburbia, disconnection, and the wrong life
09:59 – “I’m tired” often means “I feel invisible”
10:21 – Therapy and being seen in your relationship
10:48 – Feeling invisible when your partner minimizes your success
11:08 – Sex should be connection, not performance
11:31 – Withholding information because “they won’t get it”
12:02 – Real-life example: casual lies to avoid emotional presence
12:34 – When you stop fighting because you’ve given up
12:59 – Mentor story: “I left with nothing. I was so done.”
13:28 – It’s not too late, but it is time to tell the truth
13:46 – Could Paige and Craig have fixed it with emotional accountability?
14:22 – Questions to ask yourself if you're in the drift
14:36 – What happens when you speak up—and they don’t hear you
15:24 – Paige’s emotional transformation shown through her confessionals
15:43 – What are you protecting yourself from?
15:58 – Why aren’t you protecting your feelings?
16:15 – The version of yourself the relationship forced you to hide
16:34 – Red flag: Your partner can’t afford a ring and makes it your problem
16:51 – Relationship coaching and therapy: where the real work happens
17:03 – You can’t build intimacy while suppressing your truth
17:21 – It’s time to be honest: Are your needs continually minimized?
17:36 – When you're in the drift and already emotionally gone
17:59 – It's okay to leave. Even if it’s late. Even if it’s messy.
18:30 – Listen to your body—it’s speaking for your silenced self
18:46 – Share this episode with the friend who needs to hear it
19:00 – Support the show: Subscribe, review, and follow
19:16 – Outro
View all episodes
By Dating Déjà VuHave you ever been in a relationship that looked great on the outside—but felt empty on the inside?
In this episode, Christina dives into the quiet emotional detachment that happens long before a breakup. She explores why people start withholding sex, affection, or even updates about their lives—not as a form of punishment, but as a protective response when emotional needs are repeatedly unmet.
Using Bravo stars Paige DeSorbo and Craig Conover as a timely pop culture case study, Christina breaks down how emotional withdrawal shows up in real life, why people stay in these situations longer than they should, and how your body often leaves a relationship before your voice ever does.
If you’ve been walking on emotional eggshells, this episode is a must-listen.
Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0
Let's connect:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast
Timestamps:
00:00 – Introduction to “The Silent Drift”
00:28 – Bravo reference: Paige DeSorbo and Craig Conover
00:55 – The drift begins with silence, not fights
01:31 – Withholding starts when safety is lost
02:27 – Withholding ≠ punishment; it’s a defense mechanism
03:05 – Core emotional needs and how they show up in relationships
03:56 – When needs stop being met and fantasy replaces connection
04:19 – Paige’s emotional withdrawal from Craig
05:16 – Christina’s personal story: success, guilt, and staying too long
06:02 – Your body leaves the relationship before your words do
06:39 – Manifesting the dream, but living in anxiety
06:58 – The external picture vs. the internal experience
07:14 – When the nervous system knows before the mind does
07:38 – A new season of life can reveal a partner’s true character
08:10 – Paige needed support, not projection
08:29 – External stress reveals cracks in emotional connection
08:44 – Signs of drifting: fantasizing about being alone
09:30 – Christina’s story: suburbia, disconnection, and the wrong life
09:59 – “I’m tired” often means “I feel invisible”
10:21 – Therapy and being seen in your relationship
10:48 – Feeling invisible when your partner minimizes your success
11:08 – Sex should be connection, not performance
11:31 – Withholding information because “they won’t get it”
12:02 – Real-life example: casual lies to avoid emotional presence
12:34 – When you stop fighting because you’ve given up
12:59 – Mentor story: “I left with nothing. I was so done.”
13:28 – It’s not too late, but it is time to tell the truth
13:46 – Could Paige and Craig have fixed it with emotional accountability?
14:22 – Questions to ask yourself if you're in the drift
14:36 – What happens when you speak up—and they don’t hear you
15:24 – Paige’s emotional transformation shown through her confessionals
15:43 – What are you protecting yourself from?
15:58 – Why aren’t you protecting your feelings?
16:15 – The version of yourself the relationship forced you to hide
16:34 – Red flag: Your partner can’t afford a ring and makes it your problem
16:51 – Relationship coaching and therapy: where the real work happens
17:03 – You can’t build intimacy while suppressing your truth
17:21 – It’s time to be honest: Are your needs continually minimized?
17:36 – When you're in the drift and already emotionally gone
17:59 – It's okay to leave. Even if it’s late. Even if it’s messy.
18:30 – Listen to your body—it’s speaking for your silenced self
18:46 – Share this episode with the friend who needs to hear it
19:00 – Support the show: Subscribe, review, and follow
19:16 – Outro